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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Patty Mills is the Don in NBA Week 7

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Patty Mills is the Don in NBA Week 7

by Joseph Murphy

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First, congratulations to Patty Mills for winning The Don Award. This award, which is given to the athlete who has inspired the nation the most in the past twelve months. Having only learnt about this award in the past week I’ve become obsessed with it: named after the Don and awarded by his son it is, according to its own website, considered Australian sport’s highest honour. 

Past winners include Thorpie, McGrath, Warnie and Jeff “Mr Charisma” Horn. Somehow, it’s never been awarded to a rugby league player. You’d think Darren Lockyer would have done enough to inspire the nation in 2006, captaining the Maroons, Broncos and Kangaroos to famous wins, but he was pipped by the 2006 Socceroos, who, in favour of my Lockyer argument, didn’t actually win anything. Rest assured, I’m prepared to spend the next 12 months advocating for the first rugby league player to win The Don. 

Regardless, Patty is the first basketball player to win The Don and this isn’t a series about defending Darren Lockyer’s untouchable legacy. In honour of Patty, let’s go around the league and check on each of Patty’s franchises from his time in the league. 

 

Patty has been catfished by the Brooklyn Nets

Picture this, it’s August again you’re Patty Mills, you’re the king of the Olympic village in the middle of a Don-worthy campaign for rose-gold, you’re an unrestricted free agent and you’re fielding countless multi-million dollar offers. Suddenly, you get a call from Brooklyn: you know the team with 3 superstar players, the consensus favourite for the 2022 championship, those guys, and they want to give you $12 million to sit in the corner and hit open 3’s in crunch time and back-up Kyrie Irving. 

You can’t blame Patty for taking that deal, especially once he saw Durant go full takeover mode in the last 3 games of the Olympics, dragging a flailing team to the gold medal and proving once again that he’s the best scorer of all time.

Four months later and things are starting to look a whole lot different from what Patty envisioned in his room in Tokyo. It’s looking more likely that Kyrie won’t play a game this year, and he is instead focused on posting cryptic nonsense on Instagram whilst trying to transport himself back to ancient Egypt. Harden might show up once in every 3 games and look like himself again, but he’s down in every statistical category, is constantly coughing the ball up and looks like he’s really been indulging in some proper thicc-boi eating.

Now, Patty is playing the most minutes of his entire career and he’s a key part of Brooklyn’s offence where he’s shooting a career best 3.1 threes per game on a ridiculous 47% shooting. He only averages 12 points a game, which means he’s coming in, taking 6 or 7 shots from deep and making half of them. All of this for a guy who was supposed to be a luxury pick-up for a loaded team. At the age of 33, Patty is certainly not getting the kind of experience he expected when he picked up the phone from Brooklyn.

Luckily for Patty, Durant has been more than was promised, and he’s playing so well that Brooklyn sits atop the East. Maybe, instead of the promised 3 superstars, we’re going to see two Olympic heroes in Durant and Mills take out the NBA Finals in true Don fashion.

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Pack your bags Ben, you’re heading to Portland!

After 8 weeks, it’s time to mix things up with a trade and, more than anything, I’m sick of reading about the Sixers and Simmons bitching and moaning about each other. One of the Sixers off-season targets was the Portland Trailblazers, offering Simmons for CJ McCollum and a stupid amount of draft picks. 

One of the reasons that offer was rejected was because Portland aren’t dumb enough to give away their entire future’s worth of picks – but hey, your first offer is always expected to be rejected, that’s negotiation 101. The other is because their then-General Manager, Neil Olshey, was under investigation for an apparent workplace culture of bullying and intimidation and, accordingly, had lost his trade card. Come Saturday and the Blazers had finished their investigation, finding that Olshey had breached his code of conduct and promptly fired him. Whether that had anything to do with the fact that Olshey’s multi-million dollar contract extension was due to kick in or the fact that there is increasing chat that franchise cornerstone Damian Lillard is unhappy with the attempts to build a genuine contender around him, is unknown. 

On-court Portland has been less than impressive this year. Yet again, they’re one of the worst defences in the league and Lillard’s production has been down across the board. Their defence is mostly based around the assumption that centre Jusuf Nurkic is capable of making up for everyone else’s mistakes and taking away shots at the rim from guys that make it past Lillard and McCollum, who struggle to stay in front of their man. That was a workable strategy until Nurkic’s leg snapped a couple of years ago. Since his return, Nurkic hasn’t been able to put the same fear into offensive players that he once did. Another issue Portland faces is the lack of secondary playmaking. If the ball isn’t in the hands of Lillard or McCollum, they become stagnant and struggle to figure out a way to score.

There’s one guy that’s kind-of perfect for the Trailblazers. He’s a defensive monster, he’s an incredible playmaker, he’s 6 foot 11 and can play multiple positions, he abandoned his nation during the Olympics –  sure he’s got a couple of dings. But why shouldn’t Portland kick the tyres on Simmons? They’re running in quicksand right now, fighting their way to another first-round playoff loss at best. Everyone knows what to expect when the same dudes who have been playing the same way for 5 years rock up and do the exact same thing. One of the reasons the league introduced the play-in games last year was to kick Portland out of the playoffs even quicker.

A Simmons-McCollum deal just works. “Trade McCollum” has been a common calling card amongst NBA nerds for years and he would pair perfectly with Embiid. Philly is showing right now that Embiid + shooters, mostly Seth Curry, works. McCollum can improve that formula and Philly can cover his defensive lapses with guys like Matisse Thybulle. There’s even signs that Simmons wants to play in Portland, with social media investigative journalists finding him liking posts about the potential he might end up there. That’s the most positive sign we’ve seen that Simmons is interested in playing the sport in months.

If a Simmons trade isn’t on the card then Damian Lillard just needs to get out of Portland. He’s been a faithful servant of the club for years and they’ve completely failed to make any meaningful moves to build around him. Who was the last big free agent Portland signed? I genuinely can’t think of any. There’s been plenty of trades that got them nowhere, plenty of mid-range draft picks who have kind-of worked out but not much more. Time for Dame to say goodbye to the family business and go and make his money in the big city. 

 

The Spurs talent factory keeps churning

If you recall the Spurs dynasty years, especially their two finals teams in 2013 and 2014, they moved the ball like no one had ever seen before and constantly found open shots. It was almost like they were playing soccer, they just had so much space available to them. They made the kind of plays where suddenly Boris Diaw would have the ball at the hoop and no defender was within 6 feet of him. They made other teams look stupid. Back then, the foundation of the Spurs was Tim Duncan, the greatest power forward of all time, reinforced with a cladding of young Kawhi Leonard. 

It’s been a while since those days, and two teams for Kawhi, and the Spurs are sitting in the back half of the Western Conference, the part of the rankings of teams that make you feel sad to watch, like the hapless Pelicans who are yet again mismanaging their number 1 pick in Zion Williamson. However, there’s some weird statistical shit going on that gives me the heebie-jeebies. The Spurs are sitting 2nd in assists per game and 5th in field goal percentage, lists which are otherwise populated by the best teams in the league. 

There was another guy back in the day that helped it all work, a point guard picked 28th in the 2001 draft, Tony Parker – some random French kid who ended up winning Finals MVP over prime-Duncan in 2007. Turn on a Spurs game today and they’re led by Dejounte Murray, who was the 29th pick in 2016 and is having a breakout season, absolutely piling up assists at the moment. My omenry isn’t very advanced, but that smells like an omen to me. 

No one on the Spurs is averaging over 20 points a game this year and Murray’s just dished 14 assists in a close loss to Phoenix. To me, that shows that he’s not feeding the same few guys that are carrying the team, that shows that Murray is hitting everyone when they get into the right position. As a fan of an opposing western conference team, I don’t like that. At their best, the Spurs are ruthlessly efficient, they come to your building and beat the shit out of you while making your team run around like they’ve forgotten they have to guard the guys in the different coloured jerseys. 

None of this should be a surprise, this is still Gregg Popovich’s team. Triple G Gregg is the Wayne Bennett of the NBA; he’s been doing it the longest, he’s already won everything, everyone always thinks he’s past it and he just keeps proving people wrong. Away from the limelight, Pop is building his way back to Finals from the ground up. The Spurs are made up mostly of guys they’ve drafted – which is pretty unusual these days. These are guys who are getting years of training directly from Pop, who know how to pass and cut and do all the beautiful movements the Spurs used to do. This might take a few years, but Pop is 72 and apparently wants another ring before he retires, Olympic gold wasn’t enough for him. This is a long take – but I back the Spurs to be top of the West again before Pop retires.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #321 – Crystal Ducks

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Bring Back the Big Balls Dance for NBA Week 6

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Bring Back the Big Balls Dance for NBA Week 6

by Joseph Murphy

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We’re basically at the quarter mark of the regular season, the official endpoint for the ‘small sample size’ argument which has been so handy at avoiding accountability for being wrong. The next few weeks are a bit of a lul for the NBA as the best teams start pulling away from the pack and the garbage teams start to cast themselves adrift. 

No teams have truly given up on what they dreamt of being at the start of the year (OKC and Houston planned to be this bad), but the Kings are showing signs of a very quick unraveling.  After firing coach Luke Walton just over a week ago, they managed to beat Portland and then the Lakers in triple overtime. I don’t think those wins were much more than the team trying to show they’re better off without their ex, single and ready to mingle, but they’re at least some good news for a franchise that has had an awful last 20-or-so years. I’m not going to pretend to know how to solve the Kings’ problems –  unless the answer is to just put the poor franchise out of its misery by taking it out the back and shooting it.   

Phoenix are making basketball look easy

Picture this: you’re slumped on the couch, watching the afternoon session of day 3 of a test match, your hangover finally fading and the first signs of a cheeky nap start emerging, just for some uneducated dribbler to say “I don’t get, why don’t they just hit 6s every ball?” There’s a twist of anger and respect for the great tradition of the contest of test cricket that can really give you the energy to ruin your misso’s afternoon. For basketball, the same statement would be “I don’t get it, why don’t they just hit every shot?” If they did, they would be this year’s Phoenix Suns. 

Theoretically, basketball is an easy sport: move the ball, get it to the open man. If you can’t, you’ve probably run around enough that there’s a mismatch somewhere to exploit and you can have a big guy bully someone a foot smaller than him, or a guard sprint past a 7 footer whose turning circle is just as wide. Except running around for 48 minutes sucks, defense is too tiring, and setting a screen is basically an invitation saying “hey, run straight into me as fast as you can, don’t worry, my hands are by my side”. Right now, the Suns are playing basketball like it’s as easy as just hitting a 6 every ball in cricket. 

Devin Booker floating around off-ball is a thing of beauty. He’s always darting around screens, throwing off his defender with elite footwork, or just straight up shoving them into the behemoth that is DeAndre Ayton and cutting into space. The gravity of Booker always moving just makes things happen for everyone else and who better to capitalise on a defender too preoccupied with “oh fuck – where’s Booker going” than Chris Paul? 

One of the reasons this team isn’t getting the raucous praise most teams on a double-digit streak get is that you can’t nail down their offence to one category. Like the Nets offense is good because Kevin Durant can hit any shot the human brain is capable of imagining. The Suns’ offense is good because it rarely goes wrong. For one of the greatest point guards of all time, there’s a bizarre lack of praise for the way Chris Paul has this team moving together on a string. Any time a defender is half a step too slow or misses a rotation slightly, Paul’s already thrown the perfect pass to the open man. 

Last time we checked in on the Suns they were on a 9 game streak heading into back-to-back games against Dallas. That streak is now up to 16 and they have the chance to make it through all of November undefeated when the Warriors visit tomorrow. When the Warriors have been faced with a challenge this year they’ve stepped up their defence and crushed teams like the Bulls and Nets in the third quarter. Except right now it feels like Phoenix are making every shot they attempt. 

Phoenix are making themselves comfortable amongst the truly elite teams in the NBA and are proving that last year’s finals appearance was more than just a fluke. If things go wrong for me personally and they beat the Warriors twice, this streak could be at 20 very soon.

Figure 1: Lebron James reminds Indiana to speak to their Doctor via Pilot

Figure 1: Lebron James reminds Indiana to speak to their Doctor via Pilot

 

Let the boys celebrate

There’s no doubt that professional basketball is the realm of the showman. This is a sport where, if he’s a big enough star, one guy can repeatedly call plays for himself at the end of a game. If that guy goes on to win the game on one of those plays, he should be entitled to celebrate in whatever way he desires. However, sometimes the league gets in the way. 

Generally, the NBA isn’t as bad as other pearl-clutching leagues like the NFL, where the display of human emotion is strictly prohibited. For some reason, the league does have it out for the much loved ‘Big Balls Dance’. The Big Balls Dance is pretty self-explanatory –  you dance as if you have absolutely massive balls. It’s saved for an occasion where a player hits a particularly clutch shot, the kind of shot that silences an opposing crowd. Recently, LeBron James and Fred VanVleet were each fined $15,000 for expressing the size of their relative nut sacks following dagger 3’s. One might argue that Lebron’s dance was a touch less comical than the typical Big Balls Dance, more of a gesture of ‘Indiana, check out my hog’, but I’m not here to critique form. 

The Big Balls Dance was a more-common celebration during the mid-2000’s, until former commissioner David Stern, who hated anything fun and cool, designated the Big Balls Dance as an ‘obscene act’ worthy of excessive fining in 2011. It’s truly touching that now, with the knowledge that they are about to lose at least $15,000, players are still breaking out the Big Balls Dance. 

Another celebration which is steadily gaining popularity is the ‘too small’ gesture, when the scoring player holds their hand at about knee-height, indicating that no matter what their defender does, they will always be physically unable to stop them. Personally, I prefer Luka Doncic’s version, where he yells ‘fucking too small’ in the thickest version of his Eastern European accent, basically directly into the on-court microphone, for which he earns himself a technical foul every single time.

Figure 2: Fred VanVleet showing the traditional Big Balls Dance

Figure 2: Fred VanVleet showing the traditional Big Balls Dance

 

The Timberwolves are playing red cordial basketball

 

Minnesota has been a basketball wasteland the better part of the last decade, the place where number 1 picks go to waste the early part of their career. Things were looking bleak last year for number 1 pick Anthony Edwards, former number 1 pick Karl-Anthony Towns and former number 2 pick D’Angelo Russell when they bottomed out of the Western Conference with only 23 wins in a year when they had traded away all their draft picks. The downward slide looked like it was starting early this year when Timberwolves President of Basketball, Gerssan Rosas, was suddenly fired as allegations swirled that he was involved in a consensual affair with a member of staff – a story I’d somehow already forgotten amongst the mayhem of NBA drama that’s happened since.

It’s newsworthy that Minnesota aren’t complete rubbish, they’re above .500 for what might be the first time since Jimmy Butler left. That’s an estimate based on the fact that Timberwolves stars and supposed leaders of the franchise KAT and D-Lo have often been accused of being low-effort players, guys that like to get their numbers on offence and might participate on defence. 

The presence of Anthony Edwards has supercharged the Timberwolves offence. Ant has been exuding confidence lately, putting up his first 50-ball as well as throwing down some of the most ridiculous dunks in recent memory. Whenever he doesn’t have the ball, you can tell he’s internally screaming at his teammates to hand it over, itching to try a different dribble move, or just plain throw himself at the rim. Unfortunately, when he does get his hands on the ball, it’s his for the rest of the possession. When he scores, he looks like the next superstar talent, a guy Minnesota can build around and when he doesn’t, he looks like he has no clue how to play basketball. 

Edwards is representative of the whole team in that way. They can beat Miami by 12 one game then lose to Charlotte by 18 the next;  it either works and they win well, or they get pumped. When the Timberwolves get rolling they can string together multiple possessions where D-Lo orchestrates an offence based around the dual-threat of KAT and Edwards, balanced on the defensive end by the pure physical threat of Jarred Vanderbilt snatching balls straight out of the air. Suddenly though, they can suffer from a sugar crash, cough up a million turnovers, throw up constant airballs and suddenly D-Lo has reverted to a traffic cone on defense. 

These issues are, in part, caused by the fact that Minnesota have replaced their on-court beverages with red cordial. In the middle of games, the team gets dehydrated, starts developing headaches, and all get a serious case of the crankies. The coaching staff are trying to balance the benefits of the boost of energy from cordial with the negatives of the sugar crash, let’s hope they get it right. 

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #317 – Bandwagoners

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

by Joseph Murphy

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I think it’s the inherent jealousy of humanity that makes it so enjoyable to see the best of us falter? Maybe it’s something about seeing your own inadequacy in their brilliance that means you don’t mind when they’re taken down a peg or t1o.

Do you think when settlers discovered Canadian Redwoods they decided just to cut down a couple of the little ones since that was probably all they needed? Fuck no, they went and cut down the big bastards first and decided to make massive boats out of them – I think. So, when it comes to the NBA, there’s never been anyone bigger than LeBron, and after returning from injury LeBron has had himself a week.

The pile-on started immediately when Celtics bench warmer Enes Kanter, who has been very openly anti-China this season, posted a pair of shoes that contained an image of LeBron being crowned by Xi Jinping, in response to LeBron’s non-committal comments about China made during the 2019 off-season. Kanter then proceeded to wear those shoes in James’ return game, which the Celtics won handily. LeBron and Kanter have had their share of clashes but it’s mostly been one-way traffic: Kanter pulling classic moves like standing next to LeBron and yelling at him without making direct eye contact. I’m all for this most recent move, purely for the fact that it’s taken since 2019 for Kanter to come up with this.

Come his next game and LeBron is out there (unintentionally?) throwing bows and starting another shoving match. The most important thing I’ve learned from the whole non-event that was the push and shove was that Isaiah Stewart’s nickname is “Beef Stew”, and I’ll be sure to keep track of Mr Stew when he’s back from his upcoming suspension.

This all leads to the tantalising opportunity to pile onto LeBron, and certain media members who have made their careers criticising his every move are about to have a field day conducting frame-by-frame analysis of where LeBron’s elbow was and when. Just wait for some recently retired player who’s trying to break into the media come out and say “he’s a dirty player” to try to catch some attention. For my part, I’ll gladly join on this dogpile – Jordan’s better fuck you.

If LeBron has ever done you any hurt, this week is the time to get one back. Whether it’s about China, or Space Jam 2, or you just want to annoy some LeBron fans and say he’s old and he sucks now, I encourage you to join the growing chorus of dribblers in LeBron hate week.

 

Just try stopping Giannis

The Bucks are sitting in the 9th spot in the East, just above .500 with a 9-8 record. Some might call this a poor start for the reigning champions, but both Middleton and Holiday have missed games. Khris with an H is still looking a touch rusty in his return from COVID, yet to crack 20 points in the 3 games since his return. 

In that same stretch, Giannis has decided “fuck this, I’m not losing” and in his last 3 games is averaging 26 points and 16 rebounds, including a 32 point, 20 rebound effort in just 30 minutes against Orlando. That’s the NBA equivalent of scoring 5 tries in a half.

Defences used to try and force Giannis into taking his turnaround jumper outside the paint, which was one of his few weaknesses, often clanking badly off the rim. With his back to the basket, he could see fewer passes and if a defender could force Giannis to pick up his dribble they were much less likely to end up inspecting his nuts when he turned the corner and dunked all over them. Too bad for the rest of the league, but he’s hitting turnarounds now. 

In a small sample size, Giannis is good for 43% on his left-sided short-range jumpers and 46% at the elbow. Since Giannis made his leap to superstardom, he’s been a nightmare to give any space to since it just becomes a runway to the rim. If a defender needs to worry about guarding against a shot at the elbow then the man with the world’s strongest body is just going to straight-up bully them. Not to mention that he’s basically solved the “Giannis Wall” now too (where 3 guys would form a line across the paint and simultaneously defend him) becoming an advanced enough passer to hit wing scorers or spotting when the wall isn’t quite formed and busting through the gap for a huge dunk. 

I’m in the camp that Giannis doesn’t need a 3 point shot and if he could, just cancel the league. Maybe only Draymond and Kawhi could defend Giannis right now but if he could extend his game beyond the 3 point line the league would look like the 60s all over again when Wilt Chamberlain was rocking up hungover and scoring 100.

Someone is going to have to try some new gimmick against Giannis, because nothing else is working right now. We won’t see that until the playoffs since no one will want to give him a chance to work it out ahead of time.

 

I could not be higher on the Warriors

If you wouldn’t mind, it’s time to gush about the greatest team in basketball, if not world sport, right now.

It’s not just because Steph is the front runner for the MVP, or because Andre Igoudala has transformed from walking corpse to prime Iggy, or because Jordan Poole is the new young hot boy taking a leap.

Of course, Steph is the most obvious factor in the Warriors early success. In their recent win against Cleveland the Dubs pulled off a 35-8 fourth quarter to close out the game – Steph was directly responsible for 33 of those points. It turns out offense is pretty easy when the entire defence only pays attention to one guy. Big shock, Steph is the best shooter of all time, that’s nothing new.

What I can’t get over is the defence, which is sitting comfortably at #1 in the league. This is where Draymond proves why a guy who looks like he’s wearing a backpack when he shoots can get paid $24 million because he’s able to keep Durant scoreless over a quarter.

As pick-and-roll offense has taken over the league it’s become the habit of teams to switch everything. This invariably leads to teams hunting out mismatches on switchy defences, and highlight reels of centres being embarrassed by point guards.

That’s not to say that a switching defence doesn’t work, it’s just that it’s not as easy as saying “switch everything” and hope your guys can cover. In the Warriors case, when they switch, they keep switching. Whenever the Warriors are stuck with a defensive mismatch, Draymond, Igoudala or Kevin Looney are scrambling off-ball to replace the assignment, shutting down the advantage. Draymond and Igoudala are especially impressive, covering gaps in each other’s coverage without even speaking to each other, going on mental connection alone.

More than anything, Draymond is playing with the renewed confidence of a guy who knows his team is good again. He’s the absolute leader of the team, the voice you can hear constantly from the on-court microphones, even when he’s on the bench. He’s using that presence to keep the rest of the team engaged. Even when up 20 against Brooklyn last week, Draymond was screaming at his teammates like it was a game 7 after they gave up an easy layup. The majority of the team being relatively unscarred by the playoffs, and not being Kevin Durant and willing to talk back to the team crazy, are conforming to his ways and maintaining an elite defence.

I know some people don’t like Draymond’s antics, he gets away with genuine referee intimidation – even last game after not receiving a foul call he yelled directly into the referee’s face a good 5 times “CALL IT EVAN”. Obviously, I’m biased but I love how he cares so much about winning every possession that he is willing to make himself look like the worst guy in the league.

On top of all this – hey good on you Andrew Wiggins. The guy who everyone thought would be the face of the league within 5 years of being drafted has been playing genuinely good basketball. He’s not expected to do anything outside the system, which is perfect for him; he just needs to get to his spots and make his rotations on time. When he does that, he gets the ball in easy locations to score. When he does it really well, he gets to score a lot. It’s nice to see him pick himself back up after a rough couple of years in Minnesota.

As we head towards week 6 we’re sure to see just as much drama. We might even see a real punch thrown soon enough. If I could put money on it, I don’t know who I’d bet on to actually throw the first punch, but I’d like a market on the victim being Mason Plumlee.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Do Americans Even Know What a Punch-on Looks Like?

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Do Americans Even Know What a Punch-on Looks Like?

DYOR Dave

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If you’ve visited any sporting website today, then you were probably greeted with headlines like “crazy brawl,” “Wanted to kill him,” or “hell breaks loose.” In a rarely-seen moment for the NBA, something resembling a fight occurred after Lebron James hit Isaiah Stewart, sparking a confrontation between the two where Stewart had to be held back.

While these events were exciting, thanks mostly to Stewart’s aggression and the blood spurting out of his face, there wasn’t actually a fight. There were a few pushes and shoves, people were held back and words exchanged, yet no punches were thrown, not even a measly slap. Yet news sites around the world are reporting on it like its Muhammad Ali fighting Chuck Norris.

For all their guns and macho attitude, it appears that Americans don’t even know what a proper fight looks like. It makes sense, considering their boxing matches are full of YouTube stars and NFL umpires now call a flag if you breathe too hard on a quarterback. It’s always exciting to see a bit of blood spilled in any sporting arena, but is this really what qualifies as a fight?

 

 

I’m not going to make a claim that the NRL features savage brawls every weekend, because even I will admit that the sport has been sanitized over the years, but a scrap like that would barely make headlines even on a slow news day. But between the NRL, AFL and even sometimes the A-League, the amount of punches thrown, suspensions served and players sent off, its clear that the mongrel attitude is still a part of the Australian sporting landscape.

Perhaps in the US, where sport has become merely a product beholden to sponsors, owners and personality cults, the amount of acceptable violence is far lower than in Australia where we still revel in the savagery of humanity. So while Australians can watch this “fight” with mild entertainment, we can take comfort in the knowledge that in our nation, the classic art of the punch-on is still cherished

If you want a reminder of what some real fights look like, enjoy these classic pieces of unique Rugba Leeg art.

 

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 4

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: NBA Week 4

by Joseph Murphy

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To start with a philosophical point, the NBA might be the logical end of unfettered consumerism, and capitalism generally. During a time out in Sunday’s Clippers game, a member of the crowd was given $10,000 for arriving at the game 15 minutes early. The Clippers are doing this for every home game in November, giving away more money than I get paid in a year, just for punctuality. Meanwhile, all I’ve come home with from Broncos games in the last two years is heartbreak.

That’s not to say nothing happened on the court this week, that Clippers thing has just been stuck in my mind. This week has had its fair share of on-court action, including a tasteful shoving match between Rudy Gobert and Myles Turner, which saw Joe Ingles fly in and absolutely deck referee Ed Molloy in an attempt to break up the fight. The league certainly didn’t care about what Ingles did, as he was fined without missing any games.

That’s probably because Ed Molloy is one of the worst referees going around at the moment. My favourite Ed Molloy moment comes after a crucial no-call way back when Kevin Love was on the Timberwolves, giving the commentator an aneurysm as he screams “D’OH ED MOLLOY”.

I’m not going to suggest that Ingles had any intention of hitting Molloy, but you can’t convince me he didn’t scream “D’OH ED MOLLOY” on his way down the court.

Cole Anthony should be your favourite player

Historically, the Magic have been the kind of team you only watch if you couldn’t physically move from the couch and the game was already on the TV. Orlando have just come out of a rebuild where they drafted raw, athletic big men that couldn’t shoot for 6 years in a row and wondered why it kept going wrong. Now, Orlando is attempting another rebuild off the back of talented young point guards Cole Anthony and Jalen Suggs.

No one believes in Cole Anthony more than Cole Anthony, just watch one of his interviews. My personal favourite was last year, after hitting a game-winning 3 against Memphis, he began the interview “I do this. I was bred for this”, or when, without being asked a question he just started repeating “facts” and “shout out to the Magic”. That kind of confidence comes from his ridiculous skill-set, from him knowing he can step on the court, score 20 and give out 5 assists no problem.

Most of Cole’s game is focused on his excellent outside shooting, but he’s also ridiculously athletic. I don’t know how it’s possible for a 6 foot 2 guy but he jumps so high that it makes him look short, like he shouldn’t be able to physically occupy the space that he’s in. He’s all 3’s and dunks, explosions and fireworks. I want the Magic to do well now just so I can see Cole be interviewed as many times as possible.

 

Paul George has me feeling nostalgic

If there’s anything that’s true about the relationship between NBA players and fans it’s that love is fleeting. In a league with so much talent, it’s so easy to flip on a player when they do something you don’t like. It’s so simple to call a guy washed and move on to the shiny new toy when there’s a whole batch of shiny new toys every year.

Flashback to 2013 and Paul George and his Indiana team have just taken prime LeBron and the Heat to 7 games in the Eastern Conference Finals and have become everyone’s second favourite team. PG was tipped as The Next Guy, the LeBron Stopper, the future finals MVP. While he had some good seasons, ultimately those predictions all became true for his now-teammate Kawhi.

Since joining the Clippers, PG has had the full spectrum of experiences and hit basketball rock bottom when his corner 3 crashed into the side of the backboard during a crucial game 7 against Denver in the bubble. In that moment, the entire basketball world flipped on its former darling. Resentment had been building against PG the years prior, especially once he’d given himself the nickname “Playoff P” before immediately being knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.

Suddenly, PG is leading an overachieving Clippers side that shouldn’t expect to see Kawhi for the rest of the season and has me feeling nostalgic for the simpler times of 2013. He’s already had two 40 point games and even had 8 steals one night against Portland. He’s just fun to watch again: it’s like breaking out your old Nintendo 64 and firing up Ocarina of Time, it just feels right.

The Suns are starting to rev up

After a bombshell report was released about Suns owner Robert Sarver (who is allegedly a racist, sexist, terrible person), it was suspected that Phoenix would be enveloped by off-field drama, players being unable to escape a post-game conference without being asked whether they had been called a racial slur by their teams owner.

That article was full of bombshells against Sarver, who came back with some wild retorts via his lawyers. One that really stood out to me was him saying he had never used the n-word, because he’d once repeated the n-word after someone else had said it and been pulled up for it. I’m not going to pretend to be the world’s greatest lawyer but I think it’s a bad idea for your client to admit to doing the things they’re denying in their denials. 

Anyway, that situation isn’t so fun to talk about, especially when the Suns are on a 9 game win streak.

Phoenix mustn’t have realised games started back in October, which is fair since the schedule has been out of whack for two years now. Having not made the playoffs since 2010 before making the finals last season, the Suns didn’t realise the off-season gets a lot shorter when you keep playing until June. So who can blame them for starting slow when they’re used to a solid 5-month offseason?

Now that they’ve realised they need to win games to make the playoffs again, the Suns have made a job of doing just that. Even if it’s a small sample size, they’re playing fast, whipping the ball around in the half-court and sprinting out on the break. At age what, 42? Chris Paul has got this offence humming again and he’s never going to die, he’ll be in the league forever.

Phoenix look deadly and motivated by last year’s finals loss. The West is just as open this year as it was last, and the Suns have every reason to expect to be playing deep into the playoffs. In their next 2 games they play against Dallas, a genuine yardstick to measure how good both teams are, and there’s every chance their win streak goes out to 11.

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The future is now, young Cavs

(Authors note, I wrote this before it was announced that Mobley would be out 2-4 weeks with a shoulder injury, but I worked really hard on that Photoshop)

Going into this season, I wasn’t expecting to watch many Cleveland games. The Cavs looked frisky behind their lead guards Colin Sexton and Darius Garland (collectively, SexLand) but looked more like a building team hoping that number 3 pick Evan Mobley could develop in the next 2 or 3 years. I was completely wrong.

Mobley had some obvious defensive upside coming out of college; a skinny 7 footer that moves like a guard and can defend every position. That’s shown to be true in the start of his NBA career where he’s routinely shutting down possessions. More often than not, a guard will pass to the other side of the court just to avoid Mobley if they find themselves 1-on-1 with him and his 7 foot 4 wingspan, because fuck trying to get past that. Combine all that with his absolutely beautiful jump shot and his ridiculous playmaking and you’re in trouble.

The Cavs love a big game and have a habit of stepping up against better opponents. This may be teams underestimating them, but it’s encouraging to see them taking wins from Denver, Charlotte, and Boston, when they came back from a 19 point difference.

Cleveland are sitting 5th in the Eastern Conference, where they could stay for a while until the Bucks get healthy and Atlanta figures out the reason the same team as last year looks like they’ve never met before. They’re finally getting a taste of winning basketball after becoming an arid wasteland of basketball rejects post-LeBron, and they’re going to fight and claw for a playoff spot. Keep an eye out for this team, they’re going to have some more big wins.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 3

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: NBA Week 3

by Joseph Murphy

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Week 3 and I’ve figured out a title for this series. I had initially wanted to go with “Keeping up with the Terrorists” but I didn’t want to attract a readership interested in the movements of the Taliban, as well as the fact my employer knows I write these and wouldn’t feel great about me tacitly referring to crimes against humanity. Absolute Dribble also gives me an out, in the unlikely event I’m ever wrong – it was nothing more than Absolute Dribble.

Last week I was pretty critical of the Boston Celtics and gassed up the Miami Heat, who played each other last Friday. Boston took a huge win, holding the Heat to only 78 points with bone-crushing defence. You might say I had no idea what I’m talking about, but that’s not the whole story. 

Boston held a players-only meeting the night before their game against the Magic. My sources have revealed to me that Jaylen Brown read last week’s article to the team during that meeting, inspiring them to play well again. I’m told Jimmy Butler also sent a copy to the team group chat, making Miami complacent. If you want further proof of the influence of Absolute Dribble, look no further than Shai Gilgeous-Alexander hitting clutch logo 3’s against the Lakers. Speaking of the Lakers. 

 

The Lakers have handed the keys to their offence to a drunk driver 

LeBron will be spending as long as 2 months on the sideline due to an abdominal strain. Anthony Davis, whose joints are held together with bubble gum and paper clips, is due to start his usual run of 12 missed games due to some random injury soon enough. That leaves one remaining member of the Lakers alleged big 3 in charge: Russell Westbrook. 

I’ve avoided bagging Westbrook until now because for 3 consecutive years he’s started the year playing like an on-fire garbage can until suddenly working it out and averaging a triple double all over again. That’s been good enough to make it to the playoffs with the Rockets and Wizards, when he played alongside James Harden and Bradley Beal respectively, two guys who can comfortably be a primary playmaker. Without LeBron, Russell doesn’t have the benefit of another star who can carry the playmaking load until he starts to click. Take the ball in his hands and Russell refuses to cut or screen, effectively becoming a statue in the low corner of the paint. 

For all his physical talents and accomplishments throughout his career, Westbrook might be the single worst decision-maker in the NBA. Sure, he’s a 14-year veteran, a 9-time all NBA player and a one-time MVP but if you put him in a scenario where he needs to make a correct basketball play to win the game, he will do the exact opposite. 

Take your pick of any Westbrook’s late-game decision in Friday’s loss to the Thunder, where Russell pulled some of his classic moves, like driving into the lane as fast as he can and throwing the ball away, or completely forgetting who his man is on defence. This is a man who once left Tony Parker an open game-winning shot because he got confused that the Spurs jersey looked kinda like the referee’s and started guarding against a pass to the referee on the sideline. 

The Lakers will probably keep a winning record without LeBron and Russ will record a bunch of triple-doubles. Sure, you might (but you should never) have a few beers, drive on some empty roads and sneak back home unblemished. Once you get away with it a few times you think you’ve got it mastered, next thing you know you’ve run directly into a telephone pole at 100k an hour. The same fate awaits the Lakers should they be forced to rely on Russ.

Charlotte Hornets v Los Angeles Lakers

 

Big Body Boys getting themselves into trouble

I wanted to write about Philly’s recent run, putting together a tidy 5 game streak before going down to the Knicks in a game that Embiid was already going to sit out due to rest. The highlight of this run came in Chicago, when, after shutting the door on the Bulls with a game-clinching 3, Embiid turned to the jeering United Center crowd, throwing up a very intentional Jordan-shrug before waving goodbye to the front row.

Instead, Embiid’s immediate future is in doubt and he could be out for up to 10 days while covid runs through the team thanks to Olympic hero Matisse Thybulle. That’s not Embiid’s fault, but it sucks that he’ll miss games.

Having read that news, I decided to focus on the Nuggets, who’ve had a decent start to the season punctuated with some weird losses and a huge win against Dallas. Jokic is still in MVP form, leading the team in every statistical category and putting up the same if not better numbers than last year. At the time I made this decision, the Nuggets were beginning a 4 game home stand starting against the Heat, where they enjoy the enviable advantage of playing at altitude. Things looked great for the Nuggets and they had a big-league halfway through the 4th quarter. That’s when chaos erupted.

As Jokic crossed halfcourt, his arms above his head ready to throw a pass up court, he’s suddenly hit by known absolute-dog, Markieff Morris, who leads with his knee and his elbow, which he jams into Jokic’s rib cage. Jokic, a 7 foot Serbian who doesn’t like being hit in ways that could end his season, doesn’t take kindly to this contact and drops a shoulder into Morris as he walks away, completely folding him. It was an effort that fellow laundry-minded athlete Kane Evans would be proud of.

There’s a saying in law “he who comes into equity must come with clean hands”. It basically means don’t sue someone for fucking you over if you’ve fucked them over, but there’s a second part which often gets left behind, which is “let he who comes with unclean hands go out the back and throw”. I’ve got no problem with Jokic’s hit. Morris has a history of reckless fouls like this, stuff like throwing his feet under guys landing or pushing guys in the air enough times that he needs to be ready to get hit back. No one who touches my beautiful Serbian angel like that should expect to walk away uninjured.

Sadly, Jokic will miss a handful of games and a fine worth less than he earns in a quarter. This means that for the next week or so we’re going to miss out on watching two of the biggest guys in the league year apart defences with their overwhelming mix of skill and physicality.

 

Yes, Utah are great – so what?

Good on you Utah, everything looks great right now after another strong start to the regular season. Rudy Gobert hasn’t missed a rebound this year, no one can score on him and he’s even scoring at an improved clip. Meanwhile, Donovan Mitchell is one of the best offensive players in the league and Mike Conley is banging down off-the-dribble 3’s like it’s nothing, but what does all this achieve?

Look, I love this Utah team but I’ve been burnt too many times by them. As the founding member of the “Donovan Mitchell is better than Jayson Tatum Society” I have been super high on the Jazz’s recent chances of winning the finals on the back of their well-balanced roster, slick offence and at times impenetrable defence, which works perfectly, that is, until they get to the second round of the playoffs and fall apart.

Gobert was exposed on the pick and roll during last years playoffs and Utah had no answer defensively when Gobert was forced to switch onto a guard or move outside the paint. So far this season, Utah are just not switching and, credit to them, that’s worked so far. To be clear, they don’t need to improve, they just need to do it when it counts. Until that happens, I can’t have faith in this team as the contender they appear to be, because they’ll just burn me again.

Of course, you’ll note that I’ve avoided gushing over the Warriors, who have the best record in the league and the best defence in the league. I’m proud of myself for not spending 1500 words on why the Warriors throwback jerseys, which are reminiscent of the old 60’s jerseys, have allowed the soul of Wilt Chamberlain to inhabit Stephen Curry. I probably called it too early about the Dubs in week 1 as they’ve gotten better and more polished since then. Rest assured I’ll be ready to update you on Steph’s progress towards breaking all kinds of records this year – he’s only 89 away from the all-time 3 point record, give it a week.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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A Miracle from God: Jewish Yeshiva University are Currently on the Longest Winning Streak in Male College Basketball

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A Miracle from God: Jewish Yeshiva University are Currently on the Longest Winning Streak in Male College Basketball

DYOR Dave

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Before we get into the meat of this story, I’d like you, the reader, to try and think of any famous Jewish athletes or sportspeople, and as you undoubtedly come up short, you’ll realise how impressive this achievement is.

New York’s Yeshiva University is far more likely to produce accountants, doctors, and rabbis than Basketball players, however, the third division college team is now making headlines around the world for their unexpected success. Over the weekend, the ‘Maccabees’ cruised to their 38th consecutive victory with a 105-52 win against Penn State Schuylkill.

As someone who has always blamed a combination of my height and religion for a lack of sporting abilities (especially when it comes to basketball), this news brings with it mixed emotions. While I’m happy for the unexpected success of my brethren and the breaking of stereotypes, I can’t help but feel slightly jealous that the athletes in this team have been blessed with the rare gift of athletic superiority, something once thought extinct within Jewish genes.

Much of the Maccabees’ success over the last two seasons can be attributed to star player Ryan Turrell, who turned down offers from Div-1 schools to attend Yeshiva. Standing at 6 ft 7 inches with long blonde hair, it’s fair to say that the only stereotypically Jewish part of him is tucked in his undies during each game. While commentators have stated that he could easily make it in the European League, he’ll be pushing hard to grab the attention of NBA scouts and hopefully, become the second-ever Div-3 player to make the league, after the Heat’s Duncan Robinson.

 

Turrell’s success has somewhat overshadowed the tremendous team effort that has led to this winning streak, with the players evoking the spirit of the original Maccabees, a group of rebel Jewish warriors who existed from around 170 BC to 70 AD. The Maccabees fought against the Hellenisation of their land, as the ancient Greeks attempted to convert scores of Jews to Hellenism, which included having to reverse their circumcision.

Understandably the Maccabees were having none of this and rebelled against all things Greek, which included public sporting events such as wrestling and athletics. Ultimately the Maccabees overcame their oppressors, with the battle culminating in the ‘miracle of Hannukah’ which saw them find a tiny jug of unspoiled oil amongst the wreckage of their former temple. The oil ended up lighting the sacred candles for eight days, a streak that is nearly as unexpected as Yeshiva’s 38 match run.

The current streak only sits behind Women’s Hope College’s 45 game streak, and the ‘state of Israel’s’ 54-year streak of Palestinian occupation, but the Maccabees are hoping to continue their run all the way to the title this year. They line up against Eastern Connecticut State on Wednesday night and will look to make it 39 in a row, but they’ll play knowing they have already achieved far more than anyone expected of them.

So, could you think of any famous Jewish athletes? If you couldn’t, now you can. Remember the name. Ryan Turrell.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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The Heat are Inevitable: NBA Dribbler’s Week Two Update

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The Heat are Inevitable: NBA Dribbler’s Week Two Update

by Joseph Murphy

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Has this ever happened to you? You start writing NBA articles for a sports podcast and, in those articles, you make some pretty strong statements about a particular team. You pump up your articles in various group chats and a bunch of your mates start reading them, many of whom are fans of that particular team. Suddenly those strong statements are starting to look like they might be slightly incorrect and you’re getting daily updates on the reasons that you might be wrong in every group chat. Has this ever happened to you?

I’ve taken legal advice on whether I can be sued for defamation from Chicago and, until I am in receipt of that advice, will refrain from discussion of a certain bovine-based team. 

That being said, plenty else happened in the NBA this week that I can speak freely about. Balancing an NBA obsession and full-time work can be pretty tough, and I didn’t watch as many games as I’d like this week but somehow managed to watch the Oklahoma City Thunder three times. Because of this decision, I can’t tell you much about why the Jazz are good, or much about LeBron, but that’s the beauty of the NBA, there’s always a yarn ready. 

 

The new rules are the greatest

Having taken inspiration from the great St Peter V’landys, the NBA spent the summer tweaking its foul rules to drastically reduce the number of fouls called when an offensive player initiates contact. James Harden became so good at drawing fouls that it became a skill in and of itself: if a defender reached anywhere near the ball, he’d quickly wrap his arm around their wrist and pull upwards, throwing his head back like he’d been shot. 

The main culprits of these tactics have seen reduced scoring across the board and not just because they are taking less free throws. Last year, it was a reliable tactic to try and jump in front of defenders, stop suddenly and toss the ball at the hoop for free throws. Not only would a player get an easy attempt at two points and gain some confidence seeing the ball go through the hoop, but it was also an easy way to slow the game down. The new rules now result in a no-call and guys getting pounded into the floor.  

Because of these changes, the referees have swallowed the whistle across the court and let defences get away with far more physical play. Over the weekend, Kuzma two-hand shoved Tatum in the back directly in front of a referee and wasn’t called for a foul, which was a foul, but would have been an ejection last year. 

There will be a regression back to cheaper foul calls and the smartest players in the league will figure out a new way to exploit the rules, but for now, games are faster, more physical and have less bullshit. I for one am glad that games aren’t going for longer than 3 hours anymore. 

Oklahoma City Thunder v Orlando Magic

 

Is it really worth OKC being this bad?

I know the Thunder are meant to suck, they’re a young team with plenty of cap space and have so many future first-round draft picks that they’ve started scouting foetuses. It’s no secret that the Thunder are tanking for the best odds at a number 1 pick, but is it really worth it?

The Thunder are led by Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, their 23-year-old point guard who has proven to be one of the fastest developing players in the league. He’s not quite in the truly elite group of under 25 guys with Luka and Trae, but he’s just below them. Shai was traded to the Thunder in the Paul George trade after being picked at 11 by the Clippers in 2018. He’s an outlier in the sense that not all guys picked 11 could lead your franchise in the way that Shai can, but he’s proof that there’s value in the draft outside of the number 1 pick. He’s also worth a boatload of picks in any trade.

Alongside Shai is Lugentz Dort, one of the league’s best individual defenders who has also become a handy scorer. Then they’re complemented by this year’s 6th pick, Josh Giddey, of whatever the Adelaide team is in the NBL fame. I checked out the Thunder this week to watch Giddey, and I couldn’t stop watching them. Giddey came into the league with a reputation as a passer, and he has definitely lived up to that. He knows where everyone is on the court his teammates know that if they find open space he can always hit them with a sneaky pass at off-angles or through tight spaces. He’s a good enough shooter to keep his defender honest and has a decent pull-up floater in the lane. 

It’s clear the Thunder front office knows how to develop young talent and they’ve always drafted well. If they do get a number 1 pick there’s a very good chance they nail it and get another franchise player. But the road to a number 1 pick is paved with many, many losses. 

Obviously, I want to see Giddey and Shai play meaningful basketball, many of Giddey’s great passes are going to guys with cement hands. The Thunder have the money and the draft capital to completely revamp their roster and capitalise on the development of their leading players. This season, they might lose 70 games. Are the guys who are actually good now willing to stick around for many more of those seasons? 

 

The Heat are absolutely terrifying

This team was never going to suck, but I had thought that being a veteran team, they would use the regular season as an extended training session and not play their cards until the playoffs. What I forgot is that we could hit net zero tomorrow if only we could harness the competitive energy of Pat Riley and Jimmy Butler. 

The Heat have come out swinging this season and are currently on pace to have the best defence of all time. Jimmy Butler is on another level right now. He seems to move as fast as the ball at times, running alongside passes to snatch them out of the air. Oh and he’s also playing with Bam Adebayo and PJ Tucker, another two freak defenders. 

On the other end of the court, Tyler Herro seems to have gotten over his second-year slump and moved on from the curse placed on him by Jack Harlow. It’s the Mo Bamba rule – any song named after an NBA player will inevitably perform better than the player itself. Herro has been an absolute flamethrower from deep this year and has looked incredible coming in as Miami’s 6th man to torch second units. 

Spending too much time in the bubble seemed to ruin most teams and Miami had some bad luck with injuries and covid last year. High-level defence is sustainable when your team is full of psychopaths, and Miami is overflowing with them. The offence may dip off but Miami are going to be an absolute pain in the arse for the rest of the league. 

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Boston are starting to fall apart

It’s early, and Boston are 2-5 after two close double-overtime losses and an overtime win against Charlotte. If one or two shots go differently they could be 4-3 and there would be no cause for concern. I was pretty high on Boston coming into this season and thought they would be a decent chance at finally making it to the Eastern Conference Finals, but those chances are diminishing. Boston can barely beat anyone in a regular 48-minute game. 

This could just be a rough start, Jaylen Brown had covid just before the season, it’s always tough for a new coach, etc. Except Marcus Smart just openly called out Tatum and Brown, saying “They don’t want to pass the ball. That’s something that they’re going to learn. They’re still learning”. 

These kinds of comments come, usually from superstar players, with the subtext of ‘trade him or trade me’. If Smart is saying this to the media, what is he saying in the locker room? Marcus Smart is supposed to be one of the veteran leaders of this team. This is his 8th year as a Celtic and he’s their longest tenured player. So it says a lot when he openly criticises Brown and Tatum only 7 games in. I think it might be less of a case that two players who have been in the league for more than 4 years know how to pass and more of a case that everyone hates each other.

I wouldn’t say to ring the alarm just yet, but I think it would be a wise decision to become aware of where the alarm is located and how quickly you can get there. Like you’re in an airplane, count the lights between you and the exit row, just in case. 

As we head into another week, we’re starting to see the separation of powers as the top teams set themselves apart. Hopefully I won’t get caught up watching the bottom of the league again next week, but then again, I might spend all of next week watching Cole Anthony running the pick and roll.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Everything You Need to Know From the First Week of the NBA

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Everything You Need to Know From the First Week of the NBA

by Joseph Murphy

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It’s been a week since the opening of the NBA season, and I am in total bliss. In just a week we’ve had a fight break out on between Anthony Davis and Dwight Howard on the Lakers bench, the beginnings of another Donald Sterling-esque scandal following whispers that Suns owner Robert Sarver is potentially as bad a person as he is a decision-maker, and the continued Simmons saga, as he attempts to make power plays against noted power player Daryl Morey. If rugby league drama is written by the writers of Home and Away, NBA drama is written by the writers of Succession, and it’s only been a week.

My favourite moment this week came in the Knick’s home opener against the Celtics, a double-overtime game in front of 20,000 screaming New Yorkers in Madison Square Garden. With 26 seconds left in the game Derrick Rose, the youngest MVP in league history, of horrific knee injury fame, takes advantage of a double ball screen from Randle and Fornier, drives the lane and banks a one-foot runner to ice the game. For a guy whose best years were denied to him because of injury, who would have been the point guard of a generation, who has bounced around the league the last few years to close out a game like that, it brings a tear to your eye.

I’ve watched enough basketball in the last week to be behind on nearly every other aspect of my life and instead of catching up on that, I’m choosing to impart to you what I’ve learned from not considering grocery shopping a priority.

Ja Morant is about to take over the league

Ja Morant broke my heart last year, but he’s so fun to watch that I can’t find it within myself to even dislike him. In the play-in game last year, he played the game of his life to beat the Warriors and advance to the playoffs, and has continued that form to start this season, averaging 35 points and 8 assists in his first 3 games.

Ja is a ridiculous athlete; he’s lean and wily enough to spin and slip between gaps in defenders on the pick and roll, or he can take a burst of speed and jump a foot above the rim for another absurd dunk. Ja’s playing like he’s just learnt a cheat code for unlimited points. He’s becoming the master of the play where he drives through three defenders at the hoop, comes out the other side and hits the circus shot behind his head. One of those plays that makes you realise that no matter how hard you trained you could never be an NBA player.

Ja is obviously the leader of his Memphis Grizzlies team, which is full of young talent and looks to be a real playoff threat. Hopefully, Jaren Jackson Jr can continue showing he’s a valuable number 2 behind him. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think that he averages 30 points a game this season and takes the 6th seed.

 

I don’t care that the Bulls are 4 – 0

Yes, the Bulls have the best record in the league, partly because no Western Conference team has played 4 games yet. For all I care the Bulls could go 82 – 0, which they won’t, because they suck. The Bulls 4 wins have come against the Pistons, who they’ve played twice, the Pelicans, who are disgusting, and the Raptors, who can’t decide if they want to tank yet. In their opening game against Detroit, this apparently explosive offensive team only managed to score 14 points in the first quarter. Excuse me if I’m not falling over myself to hand them a championship.

The Bulls start playing actual NBA basketball this week, facing the Knicks, Jazz, Celtics and Sixers. They’ve enjoyed running train on teams not trying in the preseason and beating the bottom end of the league. This is a team that can’t defend a shadow who is now going to try and stop Julius Randle, Donovan Mitchell, Jayson Tatum and Joel Embiid. Reality will catch up with Chicago quickly.

 

The Warriors are 1 Klay Away

On the other side of the league, the Warriors and Jazz are both undefeated. As good as they are, the Jazz have only played 2 games so it’s a bit of an empty title for them. The Warriors, though, have just completed the California sweep, beating the Lakers, Clippers and Kings. Full disclosure, I kind of just made up the whole California sweep thing and I am unwilling to accept any criticism that I just made up an empty title to suit my own bias.

If you found yourself at a pub lunch on Friday you would have seen Steph Curry score 25 points in the first quarter against the Clippers, making all 10 of his attempted shots. The Warriors went on to let the Clippers back into the game, but Steph stepped up in the 4th, hitting two massive 3’s to close out the game. The second of those was a lesson in how dangerous he can be off the ball. Steph was double-teamed when taking the ball up the court and tossed it ahead to Damion Lee. In the space of three seconds, he zags behind Draymond, gets the ball back and it’s over – 3 points.

The Warriors play a unique offence based on movement and passing. In the last two years, with a roster mostly composed of guys who aren’t in the league anymore, it looked like the Warriors were drawing up plays on an old iPhone 7. It turns out that style works a whole lot better with guys who can actually pass, and a guy like Nemanja Bjelica has been a  welcome addition. Bjelica plays a sly-dog game of kicking out weird passes from odd angles which no one could ever expect him to make as well as possessing the ability to always find himself an open shot when he’s off the ball.  

The Warriors face the challenge of reintroducing Wiseman and Kuminga into the lineup, neither of which are great passers, but they don’t need to rely on either player to achieve success in the regular season and can have the luxury of bringing them in slowly. The real addition will be Klay, who could join the team as early as Christmas. The combination of ball movement which isn’t solely facilitated by Steph, letting him run around and cause havoc off-ball combined with the constant threat of Klay behind the arc is mouthwatering.

 

I really like Indiana and Sacramento, but I’m afraid they will betray me

I’ve found myself really drawn to this Indiana team, who, like always, should be a mid-tier Eastern Conference team who can threaten to make the second round at best. I’m interested in what Rick Carlisle will do with their offence and I love watching Sabonis on offence. He’s a renaissance man in the way he can score with his back to the basket, but he’s also a good enough shooter to play in a modern offence.

What I really love is his ability to run out on a fastbreak, go straight under the basket, throw his defender off him and finish with either hand. I’m just a sucker for how often he puts his defender on the ground and I can’t help but watch a few minutes of every Pacers game whenever I open League Pass.

On top of Sabonis, the Pacers drafted Chris Duarte, who immediately looks like he’s been in the league for 3 years. I don’t know why, but I’m optimistic that this team might have a solid run in them once everything starts to click. Of course, they could also completely crater, which would mean I’m going to waste another year watching random 6 minute stretches of Sabonis offence, hoping for a sign this team might do something.

Another team I’m starting to like, which I’m afraid to even say out loud, is the Sacramento Kings. I’ve been catfished by this team the past few years on the false promise that they can build something behind the rising talent of De’Aaron Fox. Like Indiana they too have a promising rookie in Davion Mitchell, who started his NBA career by putting the clamps on Damian Lillard and Donovan Mitchell. He’s got all the hallmarks of an elite defender and a real pain in the arse to play against.

The Kings have been such a dumpster fire throughout the last decade that even making the play-in game as a 10 seed would be considered a success. This season, they already pissed off the biggest player agent in the NBA, who tweeted their front office was a case study in mismanagement, and De’Aaron Fox’s dad, Aaron Fox, has probably gone and liked another tweet saying De’Aaron should be traded.  

Maybe I just like being hurt, but I just want to believe the Kings can do something this year and finally make use of the genuine talent they have on their roster.

Week 2 brings another week of high drama, probably another Simmons development and hopefully some more Lakers infighting. As usual, I’ll be commandeering the TV to make sure no one else enjoys themselves while I watch the third quarter of the Blazers against the Jazz.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Ben Simmons has Trojan Horsed the 76ers

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Ben Simmons has Trojan Horsed the 76ers

by Joseph Murphy

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In an update to the story that has cast a shadow over the entire off-season, Ben Simmons has been suspended for one game after being tossed from practice.

Simmons will miss the Sixers opening game for “detrimental conduct” after coach Doc Rivers threw him from practice for refusing to participate in a team drill. In another welcome twist of the knife, hall of fame trash talker and teammate Joel Embiid said after practice “I don’t care about that man”. Safe to say, Simmons is an unwelcome presence.

Simmons returned to the Sixers last week, appearing unannounced to the team facility for a covid test. Since then, Ben has been seen at practice pulling faces and doing as close to nothing as he can get away it. My own sources have revealed that Simmons has also been routinely dropping reverse kangas in the staff toilets. 

The only reason Simmons is there is because of money. Philly called Simmons bluff that he would sit out the entire season and willingly lose the $33 million he was owed this year. In the end, $1.4 million worth of fines was enough to bring him back to Philly, but don’t think he’s there to do anything but keep up appearances.

To recap, his coach has had enough of him, his co-star doesn’t care about him, his employer doesn’t want to pay him and Philly fans, not known for their kindness, already hate him.

 

Still, Simmons is a part of the Sixers and present at practice. The mortal enemy of the entire franchise is within its four walls. He has Trojan Horsed his way back into the team, why should he care if his presence rots the place from within? If they don’t like it, they can trade him.

For the rest of the team, Simmons will continue being the biggest story about the Sixers, and that doesn’t look like changing. No matter what they achieve, they’ll be asked about Ben.

Nonetheless, Simmons needs to keep showing up to practice and making himself ready for games to make sure he gets paid. He could attempt to play the injury card, but Philly will fight just as hard to confirm any vague diagnosis of “back pain” or the like.

Philly are playing hardball, and Simmons should too. All reports say he hasn’t been paid since July, the poor guy. If he wants to get paid, he needs to keep rocking up to practice and be ready to play.

This situation will continue to escalate; Philly say they’re not trading Simmons for a role player and the most likely candidates for a superstar trade (Lillard and Beal) haven’t made any attempts to get out of their own situations. Simmons continued presence is motivation enough for a trade and the man is a deep well of drama. My hope is that he keeps raising the stakes and turns up to ready to play their first home game against the Nets on Saturday. If he takes the court, expect a genuine riot. The game’s on Kayo at 9:30 am, set your alarms.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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