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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Patty Mills is the Don in NBA Week 7

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: Patty Mills is the Don in NBA Week 7

by Joseph Murphy

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First, congratulations to Patty Mills for winning The Don Award. This award, which is given to the athlete who has inspired the nation the most in the past twelve months. Having only learnt about this award in the past week I’ve become obsessed with it: named after the Don and awarded by his son it is, according to its own website, considered Australian sport’s highest honour. 

Past winners include Thorpie, McGrath, Warnie and Jeff “Mr Charisma” Horn. Somehow, it’s never been awarded to a rugby league player. You’d think Darren Lockyer would have done enough to inspire the nation in 2006, captaining the Maroons, Broncos and Kangaroos to famous wins, but he was pipped by the 2006 Socceroos, who, in favour of my Lockyer argument, didn’t actually win anything. Rest assured, I’m prepared to spend the next 12 months advocating for the first rugby league player to win The Don. 

Regardless, Patty is the first basketball player to win The Don and this isn’t a series about defending Darren Lockyer’s untouchable legacy. In honour of Patty, let’s go around the league and check on each of Patty’s franchises from his time in the league. 

 

Patty has been catfished by the Brooklyn Nets

Picture this, it’s August again you’re Patty Mills, you’re the king of the Olympic village in the middle of a Don-worthy campaign for rose-gold, you’re an unrestricted free agent and you’re fielding countless multi-million dollar offers. Suddenly, you get a call from Brooklyn: you know the team with 3 superstar players, the consensus favourite for the 2022 championship, those guys, and they want to give you $12 million to sit in the corner and hit open 3’s in crunch time and back-up Kyrie Irving. 

You can’t blame Patty for taking that deal, especially once he saw Durant go full takeover mode in the last 3 games of the Olympics, dragging a flailing team to the gold medal and proving once again that he’s the best scorer of all time.

Four months later and things are starting to look a whole lot different from what Patty envisioned in his room in Tokyo. It’s looking more likely that Kyrie won’t play a game this year, and he is instead focused on posting cryptic nonsense on Instagram whilst trying to transport himself back to ancient Egypt. Harden might show up once in every 3 games and look like himself again, but he’s down in every statistical category, is constantly coughing the ball up and looks like he’s really been indulging in some proper thicc-boi eating.

Now, Patty is playing the most minutes of his entire career and he’s a key part of Brooklyn’s offence where he’s shooting a career best 3.1 threes per game on a ridiculous 47% shooting. He only averages 12 points a game, which means he’s coming in, taking 6 or 7 shots from deep and making half of them. All of this for a guy who was supposed to be a luxury pick-up for a loaded team. At the age of 33, Patty is certainly not getting the kind of experience he expected when he picked up the phone from Brooklyn.

Luckily for Patty, Durant has been more than was promised, and he’s playing so well that Brooklyn sits atop the East. Maybe, instead of the promised 3 superstars, we’re going to see two Olympic heroes in Durant and Mills take out the NBA Finals in true Don fashion.

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Pack your bags Ben, you’re heading to Portland!

After 8 weeks, it’s time to mix things up with a trade and, more than anything, I’m sick of reading about the Sixers and Simmons bitching and moaning about each other. One of the Sixers off-season targets was the Portland Trailblazers, offering Simmons for CJ McCollum and a stupid amount of draft picks. 

One of the reasons that offer was rejected was because Portland aren’t dumb enough to give away their entire future’s worth of picks – but hey, your first offer is always expected to be rejected, that’s negotiation 101. The other is because their then-General Manager, Neil Olshey, was under investigation for an apparent workplace culture of bullying and intimidation and, accordingly, had lost his trade card. Come Saturday and the Blazers had finished their investigation, finding that Olshey had breached his code of conduct and promptly fired him. Whether that had anything to do with the fact that Olshey’s multi-million dollar contract extension was due to kick in or the fact that there is increasing chat that franchise cornerstone Damian Lillard is unhappy with the attempts to build a genuine contender around him, is unknown. 

On-court Portland has been less than impressive this year. Yet again, they’re one of the worst defences in the league and Lillard’s production has been down across the board. Their defence is mostly based around the assumption that centre Jusuf Nurkic is capable of making up for everyone else’s mistakes and taking away shots at the rim from guys that make it past Lillard and McCollum, who struggle to stay in front of their man. That was a workable strategy until Nurkic’s leg snapped a couple of years ago. Since his return, Nurkic hasn’t been able to put the same fear into offensive players that he once did. Another issue Portland faces is the lack of secondary playmaking. If the ball isn’t in the hands of Lillard or McCollum, they become stagnant and struggle to figure out a way to score.

There’s one guy that’s kind-of perfect for the Trailblazers. He’s a defensive monster, he’s an incredible playmaker, he’s 6 foot 11 and can play multiple positions, he abandoned his nation during the Olympics –  sure he’s got a couple of dings. But why shouldn’t Portland kick the tyres on Simmons? They’re running in quicksand right now, fighting their way to another first-round playoff loss at best. Everyone knows what to expect when the same dudes who have been playing the same way for 5 years rock up and do the exact same thing. One of the reasons the league introduced the play-in games last year was to kick Portland out of the playoffs even quicker.

A Simmons-McCollum deal just works. “Trade McCollum” has been a common calling card amongst NBA nerds for years and he would pair perfectly with Embiid. Philly is showing right now that Embiid + shooters, mostly Seth Curry, works. McCollum can improve that formula and Philly can cover his defensive lapses with guys like Matisse Thybulle. There’s even signs that Simmons wants to play in Portland, with social media investigative journalists finding him liking posts about the potential he might end up there. That’s the most positive sign we’ve seen that Simmons is interested in playing the sport in months.

If a Simmons trade isn’t on the card then Damian Lillard just needs to get out of Portland. He’s been a faithful servant of the club for years and they’ve completely failed to make any meaningful moves to build around him. Who was the last big free agent Portland signed? I genuinely can’t think of any. There’s been plenty of trades that got them nowhere, plenty of mid-range draft picks who have kind-of worked out but not much more. Time for Dame to say goodbye to the family business and go and make his money in the big city. 

 

The Spurs talent factory keeps churning

If you recall the Spurs dynasty years, especially their two finals teams in 2013 and 2014, they moved the ball like no one had ever seen before and constantly found open shots. It was almost like they were playing soccer, they just had so much space available to them. They made the kind of plays where suddenly Boris Diaw would have the ball at the hoop and no defender was within 6 feet of him. They made other teams look stupid. Back then, the foundation of the Spurs was Tim Duncan, the greatest power forward of all time, reinforced with a cladding of young Kawhi Leonard. 

It’s been a while since those days, and two teams for Kawhi, and the Spurs are sitting in the back half of the Western Conference, the part of the rankings of teams that make you feel sad to watch, like the hapless Pelicans who are yet again mismanaging their number 1 pick in Zion Williamson. However, there’s some weird statistical shit going on that gives me the heebie-jeebies. The Spurs are sitting 2nd in assists per game and 5th in field goal percentage, lists which are otherwise populated by the best teams in the league. 

There was another guy back in the day that helped it all work, a point guard picked 28th in the 2001 draft, Tony Parker – some random French kid who ended up winning Finals MVP over prime-Duncan in 2007. Turn on a Spurs game today and they’re led by Dejounte Murray, who was the 29th pick in 2016 and is having a breakout season, absolutely piling up assists at the moment. My omenry isn’t very advanced, but that smells like an omen to me. 

No one on the Spurs is averaging over 20 points a game this year and Murray’s just dished 14 assists in a close loss to Phoenix. To me, that shows that he’s not feeding the same few guys that are carrying the team, that shows that Murray is hitting everyone when they get into the right position. As a fan of an opposing western conference team, I don’t like that. At their best, the Spurs are ruthlessly efficient, they come to your building and beat the shit out of you while making your team run around like they’ve forgotten they have to guard the guys in the different coloured jerseys. 

None of this should be a surprise, this is still Gregg Popovich’s team. Triple G Gregg is the Wayne Bennett of the NBA; he’s been doing it the longest, he’s already won everything, everyone always thinks he’s past it and he just keeps proving people wrong. Away from the limelight, Pop is building his way back to Finals from the ground up. The Spurs are made up mostly of guys they’ve drafted – which is pretty unusual these days. These are guys who are getting years of training directly from Pop, who know how to pass and cut and do all the beautiful movements the Spurs used to do. This might take a few years, but Pop is 72 and apparently wants another ring before he retires, Olympic gold wasn’t enough for him. This is a long take – but I back the Spurs to be top of the West again before Pop retires.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #321 – Crystal Ducks

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Why Did the MLB Secretly Use Two Different Types of Baseballs During the 2021 Season?

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Why Did the MLB Secretly Use Two Different Types of Baseballs During the 2021 Season?

DYOR Dave

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As a Cricket loving nation, Australians understand the influence that a ball can have on a game. Baseball fans in the US are now coming to realise this age-old law after revelations of widespread deceit from the MLB that could seriously undermine what little trust fans and clubs had left in the governing body.

At the start of the 2021 season, the MLB announced that they would be switching to a new ball that is two grams lighter, with the yarn centre being wound less tight than the previous version. While two grams may not seem like much, the new ball reportedly came off the bat softer and traveled shorter distances. What the MLB didn’t say was that they would still be using the old balls as well as the new ones during 2021.

The decision to switch to a lighter ball was made following a noticeable rise over the last few years of home runs hit, but clearly unconvinced by their decision, the MLB decided to A/B test both balls in the same season. A/B testing is commonly used on digital platforms, where changes will be made for some users and not others, in order to determine if the changes should be implemented overall.

While the secret change went just about unnoticed during the season, the unparalleled statistical analysis of baseball nerds and dribblers exposed the secret to the world. Meredith Wills is an award-winning astrophysicist at the Society for American Baseball Research, and clearly the biggest baseball dribbler in the world. She conducted a study of hundreds of baseballs used during the 2021 season, dissecting them and measuring them to reveal the alarming discovery.

She discovered that not only did the league use two different balls in 2021, but they even started trickling a few lighter balls into matches in late 2020. The MLB have come out and denied purposely testing out two different balls during the season, and they’re relying on one of the newest but easiest excuses to make, Covid.

The new balls have looser yarn, causing it to be softer and less dense

The new balls have looser yarn, causing it to be softer and less dense

 

Baseball manufacturer Rawlings, who are owned by the MLB, have cited production delays due to COVID-19 as their reason for continuing to use older balls, saying in a statement, “Because Rawlings was forced to reduce capacity at its manufacturing facility due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the supply of re-centered baseballs was not sufficient to cover the entirety of the 2021 season. To address this issue, Rawlings incorporated excess inventory into its shipments to Clubs.”

While this sounds plausible, the data collected by Wills tells a completely different story. As each ball has a serial number which allows her to determine when the ball was made, she discovered that while production of the new balls started in October 2019, the factory in Costa Rica would frequently switch back and forth between making new and old balls. After three months of producing the newer, lighter balls, they switched back to the old balls in January 2020, three months before lockdowns were implemented in the Central American nation.

In October 2020, new balls were once again being produced, but then in January 2021, they once again switched back to the old balls. Since then, Wills has found that balls produced since the start of the year have all been the older and heavier model, which indicates that the MLB weren’t being honest with the world.

While the fallout from this scandal is still unfolding, it’s fair to say that the ramifications of this could be wide-reaching in the American sporting landscape. With trust in governing organisations at an all time low, and a flurry of foreign money that’s seen the proposals of rogue ‘super leagues’ around the world, it’s anyones guess as to how the clubs and fans will react to this situation.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #317 – Bandwagoners

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

by Joseph Murphy

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I think it’s the inherent jealousy of humanity that makes it so enjoyable to see the best of us falter? Maybe it’s something about seeing your own inadequacy in their brilliance that means you don’t mind when they’re taken down a peg or t1o.

Do you think when settlers discovered Canadian Redwoods they decided just to cut down a couple of the little ones since that was probably all they needed? Fuck no, they went and cut down the big bastards first and decided to make massive boats out of them – I think. So, when it comes to the NBA, there’s never been anyone bigger than LeBron, and after returning from injury LeBron has had himself a week.

The pile-on started immediately when Celtics bench warmer Enes Kanter, who has been very openly anti-China this season, posted a pair of shoes that contained an image of LeBron being crowned by Xi Jinping, in response to LeBron’s non-committal comments about China made during the 2019 off-season. Kanter then proceeded to wear those shoes in James’ return game, which the Celtics won handily. LeBron and Kanter have had their share of clashes but it’s mostly been one-way traffic: Kanter pulling classic moves like standing next to LeBron and yelling at him without making direct eye contact. I’m all for this most recent move, purely for the fact that it’s taken since 2019 for Kanter to come up with this.

Come his next game and LeBron is out there (unintentionally?) throwing bows and starting another shoving match. The most important thing I’ve learned from the whole non-event that was the push and shove was that Isaiah Stewart’s nickname is “Beef Stew”, and I’ll be sure to keep track of Mr Stew when he’s back from his upcoming suspension.

This all leads to the tantalising opportunity to pile onto LeBron, and certain media members who have made their careers criticising his every move are about to have a field day conducting frame-by-frame analysis of where LeBron’s elbow was and when. Just wait for some recently retired player who’s trying to break into the media come out and say “he’s a dirty player” to try to catch some attention. For my part, I’ll gladly join on this dogpile – Jordan’s better fuck you.

If LeBron has ever done you any hurt, this week is the time to get one back. Whether it’s about China, or Space Jam 2, or you just want to annoy some LeBron fans and say he’s old and he sucks now, I encourage you to join the growing chorus of dribblers in LeBron hate week.

 

Just try stopping Giannis

The Bucks are sitting in the 9th spot in the East, just above .500 with a 9-8 record. Some might call this a poor start for the reigning champions, but both Middleton and Holiday have missed games. Khris with an H is still looking a touch rusty in his return from COVID, yet to crack 20 points in the 3 games since his return. 

In that same stretch, Giannis has decided “fuck this, I’m not losing” and in his last 3 games is averaging 26 points and 16 rebounds, including a 32 point, 20 rebound effort in just 30 minutes against Orlando. That’s the NBA equivalent of scoring 5 tries in a half.

Defences used to try and force Giannis into taking his turnaround jumper outside the paint, which was one of his few weaknesses, often clanking badly off the rim. With his back to the basket, he could see fewer passes and if a defender could force Giannis to pick up his dribble they were much less likely to end up inspecting his nuts when he turned the corner and dunked all over them. Too bad for the rest of the league, but he’s hitting turnarounds now. 

In a small sample size, Giannis is good for 43% on his left-sided short-range jumpers and 46% at the elbow. Since Giannis made his leap to superstardom, he’s been a nightmare to give any space to since it just becomes a runway to the rim. If a defender needs to worry about guarding against a shot at the elbow then the man with the world’s strongest body is just going to straight-up bully them. Not to mention that he’s basically solved the “Giannis Wall” now too (where 3 guys would form a line across the paint and simultaneously defend him) becoming an advanced enough passer to hit wing scorers or spotting when the wall isn’t quite formed and busting through the gap for a huge dunk. 

I’m in the camp that Giannis doesn’t need a 3 point shot and if he could, just cancel the league. Maybe only Draymond and Kawhi could defend Giannis right now but if he could extend his game beyond the 3 point line the league would look like the 60s all over again when Wilt Chamberlain was rocking up hungover and scoring 100.

Someone is going to have to try some new gimmick against Giannis, because nothing else is working right now. We won’t see that until the playoffs since no one will want to give him a chance to work it out ahead of time.

 

I could not be higher on the Warriors

If you wouldn’t mind, it’s time to gush about the greatest team in basketball, if not world sport, right now.

It’s not just because Steph is the front runner for the MVP, or because Andre Igoudala has transformed from walking corpse to prime Iggy, or because Jordan Poole is the new young hot boy taking a leap.

Of course, Steph is the most obvious factor in the Warriors early success. In their recent win against Cleveland the Dubs pulled off a 35-8 fourth quarter to close out the game – Steph was directly responsible for 33 of those points. It turns out offense is pretty easy when the entire defence only pays attention to one guy. Big shock, Steph is the best shooter of all time, that’s nothing new.

What I can’t get over is the defence, which is sitting comfortably at #1 in the league. This is where Draymond proves why a guy who looks like he’s wearing a backpack when he shoots can get paid $24 million because he’s able to keep Durant scoreless over a quarter.

As pick-and-roll offense has taken over the league it’s become the habit of teams to switch everything. This invariably leads to teams hunting out mismatches on switchy defences, and highlight reels of centres being embarrassed by point guards.

That’s not to say that a switching defence doesn’t work, it’s just that it’s not as easy as saying “switch everything” and hope your guys can cover. In the Warriors case, when they switch, they keep switching. Whenever the Warriors are stuck with a defensive mismatch, Draymond, Igoudala or Kevin Looney are scrambling off-ball to replace the assignment, shutting down the advantage. Draymond and Igoudala are especially impressive, covering gaps in each other’s coverage without even speaking to each other, going on mental connection alone.

More than anything, Draymond is playing with the renewed confidence of a guy who knows his team is good again. He’s the absolute leader of the team, the voice you can hear constantly from the on-court microphones, even when he’s on the bench. He’s using that presence to keep the rest of the team engaged. Even when up 20 against Brooklyn last week, Draymond was screaming at his teammates like it was a game 7 after they gave up an easy layup. The majority of the team being relatively unscarred by the playoffs, and not being Kevin Durant and willing to talk back to the team crazy, are conforming to his ways and maintaining an elite defence.

I know some people don’t like Draymond’s antics, he gets away with genuine referee intimidation – even last game after not receiving a foul call he yelled directly into the referee’s face a good 5 times “CALL IT EVAN”. Obviously, I’m biased but I love how he cares so much about winning every possession that he is willing to make himself look like the worst guy in the league.

On top of all this – hey good on you Andrew Wiggins. The guy who everyone thought would be the face of the league within 5 years of being drafted has been playing genuinely good basketball. He’s not expected to do anything outside the system, which is perfect for him; he just needs to get to his spots and make his rotations on time. When he does that, he gets the ball in easy locations to score. When he does it really well, he gets to score a lot. It’s nice to see him pick himself back up after a rough couple of years in Minnesota.

As we head towards week 6 we’re sure to see just as much drama. We might even see a real punch thrown soon enough. If I could put money on it, I don’t know who I’d bet on to actually throw the first punch, but I’d like a market on the victim being Mason Plumlee.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 4

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: NBA Week 4

by Joseph Murphy

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To start with a philosophical point, the NBA might be the logical end of unfettered consumerism, and capitalism generally. During a time out in Sunday’s Clippers game, a member of the crowd was given $10,000 for arriving at the game 15 minutes early. The Clippers are doing this for every home game in November, giving away more money than I get paid in a year, just for punctuality. Meanwhile, all I’ve come home with from Broncos games in the last two years is heartbreak.

That’s not to say nothing happened on the court this week, that Clippers thing has just been stuck in my mind. This week has had its fair share of on-court action, including a tasteful shoving match between Rudy Gobert and Myles Turner, which saw Joe Ingles fly in and absolutely deck referee Ed Molloy in an attempt to break up the fight. The league certainly didn’t care about what Ingles did, as he was fined without missing any games.

That’s probably because Ed Molloy is one of the worst referees going around at the moment. My favourite Ed Molloy moment comes after a crucial no-call way back when Kevin Love was on the Timberwolves, giving the commentator an aneurysm as he screams “D’OH ED MOLLOY”.

I’m not going to suggest that Ingles had any intention of hitting Molloy, but you can’t convince me he didn’t scream “D’OH ED MOLLOY” on his way down the court.

Cole Anthony should be your favourite player

Historically, the Magic have been the kind of team you only watch if you couldn’t physically move from the couch and the game was already on the TV. Orlando have just come out of a rebuild where they drafted raw, athletic big men that couldn’t shoot for 6 years in a row and wondered why it kept going wrong. Now, Orlando is attempting another rebuild off the back of talented young point guards Cole Anthony and Jalen Suggs.

No one believes in Cole Anthony more than Cole Anthony, just watch one of his interviews. My personal favourite was last year, after hitting a game-winning 3 against Memphis, he began the interview “I do this. I was bred for this”, or when, without being asked a question he just started repeating “facts” and “shout out to the Magic”. That kind of confidence comes from his ridiculous skill-set, from him knowing he can step on the court, score 20 and give out 5 assists no problem.

Most of Cole’s game is focused on his excellent outside shooting, but he’s also ridiculously athletic. I don’t know how it’s possible for a 6 foot 2 guy but he jumps so high that it makes him look short, like he shouldn’t be able to physically occupy the space that he’s in. He’s all 3’s and dunks, explosions and fireworks. I want the Magic to do well now just so I can see Cole be interviewed as many times as possible.

 

Paul George has me feeling nostalgic

If there’s anything that’s true about the relationship between NBA players and fans it’s that love is fleeting. In a league with so much talent, it’s so easy to flip on a player when they do something you don’t like. It’s so simple to call a guy washed and move on to the shiny new toy when there’s a whole batch of shiny new toys every year.

Flashback to 2013 and Paul George and his Indiana team have just taken prime LeBron and the Heat to 7 games in the Eastern Conference Finals and have become everyone’s second favourite team. PG was tipped as The Next Guy, the LeBron Stopper, the future finals MVP. While he had some good seasons, ultimately those predictions all became true for his now-teammate Kawhi.

Since joining the Clippers, PG has had the full spectrum of experiences and hit basketball rock bottom when his corner 3 crashed into the side of the backboard during a crucial game 7 against Denver in the bubble. In that moment, the entire basketball world flipped on its former darling. Resentment had been building against PG the years prior, especially once he’d given himself the nickname “Playoff P” before immediately being knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.

Suddenly, PG is leading an overachieving Clippers side that shouldn’t expect to see Kawhi for the rest of the season and has me feeling nostalgic for the simpler times of 2013. He’s already had two 40 point games and even had 8 steals one night against Portland. He’s just fun to watch again: it’s like breaking out your old Nintendo 64 and firing up Ocarina of Time, it just feels right.

The Suns are starting to rev up

After a bombshell report was released about Suns owner Robert Sarver (who is allegedly a racist, sexist, terrible person), it was suspected that Phoenix would be enveloped by off-field drama, players being unable to escape a post-game conference without being asked whether they had been called a racial slur by their teams owner.

That article was full of bombshells against Sarver, who came back with some wild retorts via his lawyers. One that really stood out to me was him saying he had never used the n-word, because he’d once repeated the n-word after someone else had said it and been pulled up for it. I’m not going to pretend to be the world’s greatest lawyer but I think it’s a bad idea for your client to admit to doing the things they’re denying in their denials. 

Anyway, that situation isn’t so fun to talk about, especially when the Suns are on a 9 game win streak.

Phoenix mustn’t have realised games started back in October, which is fair since the schedule has been out of whack for two years now. Having not made the playoffs since 2010 before making the finals last season, the Suns didn’t realise the off-season gets a lot shorter when you keep playing until June. So who can blame them for starting slow when they’re used to a solid 5-month offseason?

Now that they’ve realised they need to win games to make the playoffs again, the Suns have made a job of doing just that. Even if it’s a small sample size, they’re playing fast, whipping the ball around in the half-court and sprinting out on the break. At age what, 42? Chris Paul has got this offence humming again and he’s never going to die, he’ll be in the league forever.

Phoenix look deadly and motivated by last year’s finals loss. The West is just as open this year as it was last, and the Suns have every reason to expect to be playing deep into the playoffs. In their next 2 games they play against Dallas, a genuine yardstick to measure how good both teams are, and there’s every chance their win streak goes out to 11.

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The future is now, young Cavs

(Authors note, I wrote this before it was announced that Mobley would be out 2-4 weeks with a shoulder injury, but I worked really hard on that Photoshop)

Going into this season, I wasn’t expecting to watch many Cleveland games. The Cavs looked frisky behind their lead guards Colin Sexton and Darius Garland (collectively, SexLand) but looked more like a building team hoping that number 3 pick Evan Mobley could develop in the next 2 or 3 years. I was completely wrong.

Mobley had some obvious defensive upside coming out of college; a skinny 7 footer that moves like a guard and can defend every position. That’s shown to be true in the start of his NBA career where he’s routinely shutting down possessions. More often than not, a guard will pass to the other side of the court just to avoid Mobley if they find themselves 1-on-1 with him and his 7 foot 4 wingspan, because fuck trying to get past that. Combine all that with his absolutely beautiful jump shot and his ridiculous playmaking and you’re in trouble.

The Cavs love a big game and have a habit of stepping up against better opponents. This may be teams underestimating them, but it’s encouraging to see them taking wins from Denver, Charlotte, and Boston, when they came back from a 19 point difference.

Cleveland are sitting 5th in the Eastern Conference, where they could stay for a while until the Bucks get healthy and Atlanta figures out the reason the same team as last year looks like they’ve never met before. They’re finally getting a taste of winning basketball after becoming an arid wasteland of basketball rejects post-LeBron, and they’re going to fight and claw for a playoff spot. Keep an eye out for this team, they’re going to have some more big wins.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 3

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ABSOLUTE DRIBBLE: NBA Week 3

by Joseph Murphy

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Week 3 and I’ve figured out a title for this series. I had initially wanted to go with “Keeping up with the Terrorists” but I didn’t want to attract a readership interested in the movements of the Taliban, as well as the fact my employer knows I write these and wouldn’t feel great about me tacitly referring to crimes against humanity. Absolute Dribble also gives me an out, in the unlikely event I’m ever wrong – it was nothing more than Absolute Dribble.

Last week I was pretty critical of the Boston Celtics and gassed up the Miami Heat, who played each other last Friday. Boston took a huge win, holding the Heat to only 78 points with bone-crushing defence. You might say I had no idea what I’m talking about, but that’s not the whole story. 

Boston held a players-only meeting the night before their game against the Magic. My sources have revealed to me that Jaylen Brown read last week’s article to the team during that meeting, inspiring them to play well again. I’m told Jimmy Butler also sent a copy to the team group chat, making Miami complacent. If you want further proof of the influence of Absolute Dribble, look no further than Shai Gilgeous-Alexander hitting clutch logo 3’s against the Lakers. Speaking of the Lakers. 

 

The Lakers have handed the keys to their offence to a drunk driver 

LeBron will be spending as long as 2 months on the sideline due to an abdominal strain. Anthony Davis, whose joints are held together with bubble gum and paper clips, is due to start his usual run of 12 missed games due to some random injury soon enough. That leaves one remaining member of the Lakers alleged big 3 in charge: Russell Westbrook. 

I’ve avoided bagging Westbrook until now because for 3 consecutive years he’s started the year playing like an on-fire garbage can until suddenly working it out and averaging a triple double all over again. That’s been good enough to make it to the playoffs with the Rockets and Wizards, when he played alongside James Harden and Bradley Beal respectively, two guys who can comfortably be a primary playmaker. Without LeBron, Russell doesn’t have the benefit of another star who can carry the playmaking load until he starts to click. Take the ball in his hands and Russell refuses to cut or screen, effectively becoming a statue in the low corner of the paint. 

For all his physical talents and accomplishments throughout his career, Westbrook might be the single worst decision-maker in the NBA. Sure, he’s a 14-year veteran, a 9-time all NBA player and a one-time MVP but if you put him in a scenario where he needs to make a correct basketball play to win the game, he will do the exact opposite. 

Take your pick of any Westbrook’s late-game decision in Friday’s loss to the Thunder, where Russell pulled some of his classic moves, like driving into the lane as fast as he can and throwing the ball away, or completely forgetting who his man is on defence. This is a man who once left Tony Parker an open game-winning shot because he got confused that the Spurs jersey looked kinda like the referee’s and started guarding against a pass to the referee on the sideline. 

The Lakers will probably keep a winning record without LeBron and Russ will record a bunch of triple-doubles. Sure, you might (but you should never) have a few beers, drive on some empty roads and sneak back home unblemished. Once you get away with it a few times you think you’ve got it mastered, next thing you know you’ve run directly into a telephone pole at 100k an hour. The same fate awaits the Lakers should they be forced to rely on Russ.

Charlotte Hornets v Los Angeles Lakers

 

Big Body Boys getting themselves into trouble

I wanted to write about Philly’s recent run, putting together a tidy 5 game streak before going down to the Knicks in a game that Embiid was already going to sit out due to rest. The highlight of this run came in Chicago, when, after shutting the door on the Bulls with a game-clinching 3, Embiid turned to the jeering United Center crowd, throwing up a very intentional Jordan-shrug before waving goodbye to the front row.

Instead, Embiid’s immediate future is in doubt and he could be out for up to 10 days while covid runs through the team thanks to Olympic hero Matisse Thybulle. That’s not Embiid’s fault, but it sucks that he’ll miss games.

Having read that news, I decided to focus on the Nuggets, who’ve had a decent start to the season punctuated with some weird losses and a huge win against Dallas. Jokic is still in MVP form, leading the team in every statistical category and putting up the same if not better numbers than last year. At the time I made this decision, the Nuggets were beginning a 4 game home stand starting against the Heat, where they enjoy the enviable advantage of playing at altitude. Things looked great for the Nuggets and they had a big-league halfway through the 4th quarter. That’s when chaos erupted.

As Jokic crossed halfcourt, his arms above his head ready to throw a pass up court, he’s suddenly hit by known absolute-dog, Markieff Morris, who leads with his knee and his elbow, which he jams into Jokic’s rib cage. Jokic, a 7 foot Serbian who doesn’t like being hit in ways that could end his season, doesn’t take kindly to this contact and drops a shoulder into Morris as he walks away, completely folding him. It was an effort that fellow laundry-minded athlete Kane Evans would be proud of.

There’s a saying in law “he who comes into equity must come with clean hands”. It basically means don’t sue someone for fucking you over if you’ve fucked them over, but there’s a second part which often gets left behind, which is “let he who comes with unclean hands go out the back and throw”. I’ve got no problem with Jokic’s hit. Morris has a history of reckless fouls like this, stuff like throwing his feet under guys landing or pushing guys in the air enough times that he needs to be ready to get hit back. No one who touches my beautiful Serbian angel like that should expect to walk away uninjured.

Sadly, Jokic will miss a handful of games and a fine worth less than he earns in a quarter. This means that for the next week or so we’re going to miss out on watching two of the biggest guys in the league year apart defences with their overwhelming mix of skill and physicality.

 

Yes, Utah are great – so what?

Good on you Utah, everything looks great right now after another strong start to the regular season. Rudy Gobert hasn’t missed a rebound this year, no one can score on him and he’s even scoring at an improved clip. Meanwhile, Donovan Mitchell is one of the best offensive players in the league and Mike Conley is banging down off-the-dribble 3’s like it’s nothing, but what does all this achieve?

Look, I love this Utah team but I’ve been burnt too many times by them. As the founding member of the “Donovan Mitchell is better than Jayson Tatum Society” I have been super high on the Jazz’s recent chances of winning the finals on the back of their well-balanced roster, slick offence and at times impenetrable defence, which works perfectly, that is, until they get to the second round of the playoffs and fall apart.

Gobert was exposed on the pick and roll during last years playoffs and Utah had no answer defensively when Gobert was forced to switch onto a guard or move outside the paint. So far this season, Utah are just not switching and, credit to them, that’s worked so far. To be clear, they don’t need to improve, they just need to do it when it counts. Until that happens, I can’t have faith in this team as the contender they appear to be, because they’ll just burn me again.

Of course, you’ll note that I’ve avoided gushing over the Warriors, who have the best record in the league and the best defence in the league. I’m proud of myself for not spending 1500 words on why the Warriors throwback jerseys, which are reminiscent of the old 60’s jerseys, have allowed the soul of Wilt Chamberlain to inhabit Stephen Curry. I probably called it too early about the Dubs in week 1 as they’ve gotten better and more polished since then. Rest assured I’ll be ready to update you on Steph’s progress towards breaking all kinds of records this year – he’s only 89 away from the all-time 3 point record, give it a week.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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A Miracle from God: Jewish Yeshiva University are Currently on the Longest Winning Streak in Male College Basketball

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A Miracle from God: Jewish Yeshiva University are Currently on the Longest Winning Streak in Male College Basketball

DYOR Dave

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Before we get into the meat of this story, I’d like you, the reader, to try and think of any famous Jewish athletes or sportspeople, and as you undoubtedly come up short, you’ll realise how impressive this achievement is.

New York’s Yeshiva University is far more likely to produce accountants, doctors, and rabbis than Basketball players, however, the third division college team is now making headlines around the world for their unexpected success. Over the weekend, the ‘Maccabees’ cruised to their 38th consecutive victory with a 105-52 win against Penn State Schuylkill.

As someone who has always blamed a combination of my height and religion for a lack of sporting abilities (especially when it comes to basketball), this news brings with it mixed emotions. While I’m happy for the unexpected success of my brethren and the breaking of stereotypes, I can’t help but feel slightly jealous that the athletes in this team have been blessed with the rare gift of athletic superiority, something once thought extinct within Jewish genes.

Much of the Maccabees’ success over the last two seasons can be attributed to star player Ryan Turrell, who turned down offers from Div-1 schools to attend Yeshiva. Standing at 6 ft 7 inches with long blonde hair, it’s fair to say that the only stereotypically Jewish part of him is tucked in his undies during each game. While commentators have stated that he could easily make it in the European League, he’ll be pushing hard to grab the attention of NBA scouts and hopefully, become the second-ever Div-3 player to make the league, after the Heat’s Duncan Robinson.

 

Turrell’s success has somewhat overshadowed the tremendous team effort that has led to this winning streak, with the players evoking the spirit of the original Maccabees, a group of rebel Jewish warriors who existed from around 170 BC to 70 AD. The Maccabees fought against the Hellenisation of their land, as the ancient Greeks attempted to convert scores of Jews to Hellenism, which included having to reverse their circumcision.

Understandably the Maccabees were having none of this and rebelled against all things Greek, which included public sporting events such as wrestling and athletics. Ultimately the Maccabees overcame their oppressors, with the battle culminating in the ‘miracle of Hannukah’ which saw them find a tiny jug of unspoiled oil amongst the wreckage of their former temple. The oil ended up lighting the sacred candles for eight days, a streak that is nearly as unexpected as Yeshiva’s 38 match run.

The current streak only sits behind Women’s Hope College’s 45 game streak, and the ‘state of Israel’s’ 54-year streak of Palestinian occupation, but the Maccabees are hoping to continue their run all the way to the title this year. They line up against Eastern Connecticut State on Wednesday night and will look to make it 39 in a row, but they’ll play knowing they have already achieved far more than anyone expected of them.

So, could you think of any famous Jewish athletes? If you couldn’t, now you can. Remember the name. Ryan Turrell.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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The Heat are Inevitable: NBA Dribbler’s Week Two Update

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The Heat are Inevitable: NBA Dribbler’s Week Two Update

by Joseph Murphy

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Has this ever happened to you? You start writing NBA articles for a sports podcast and, in those articles, you make some pretty strong statements about a particular team. You pump up your articles in various group chats and a bunch of your mates start reading them, many of whom are fans of that particular team. Suddenly those strong statements are starting to look like they might be slightly incorrect and you’re getting daily updates on the reasons that you might be wrong in every group chat. Has this ever happened to you?

I’ve taken legal advice on whether I can be sued for defamation from Chicago and, until I am in receipt of that advice, will refrain from discussion of a certain bovine-based team. 

That being said, plenty else happened in the NBA this week that I can speak freely about. Balancing an NBA obsession and full-time work can be pretty tough, and I didn’t watch as many games as I’d like this week but somehow managed to watch the Oklahoma City Thunder three times. Because of this decision, I can’t tell you much about why the Jazz are good, or much about LeBron, but that’s the beauty of the NBA, there’s always a yarn ready. 

 

The new rules are the greatest

Having taken inspiration from the great St Peter V’landys, the NBA spent the summer tweaking its foul rules to drastically reduce the number of fouls called when an offensive player initiates contact. James Harden became so good at drawing fouls that it became a skill in and of itself: if a defender reached anywhere near the ball, he’d quickly wrap his arm around their wrist and pull upwards, throwing his head back like he’d been shot. 

The main culprits of these tactics have seen reduced scoring across the board and not just because they are taking less free throws. Last year, it was a reliable tactic to try and jump in front of defenders, stop suddenly and toss the ball at the hoop for free throws. Not only would a player get an easy attempt at two points and gain some confidence seeing the ball go through the hoop, but it was also an easy way to slow the game down. The new rules now result in a no-call and guys getting pounded into the floor.  

Because of these changes, the referees have swallowed the whistle across the court and let defences get away with far more physical play. Over the weekend, Kuzma two-hand shoved Tatum in the back directly in front of a referee and wasn’t called for a foul, which was a foul, but would have been an ejection last year. 

There will be a regression back to cheaper foul calls and the smartest players in the league will figure out a new way to exploit the rules, but for now, games are faster, more physical and have less bullshit. I for one am glad that games aren’t going for longer than 3 hours anymore. 

Oklahoma City Thunder v Orlando Magic

 

Is it really worth OKC being this bad?

I know the Thunder are meant to suck, they’re a young team with plenty of cap space and have so many future first-round draft picks that they’ve started scouting foetuses. It’s no secret that the Thunder are tanking for the best odds at a number 1 pick, but is it really worth it?

The Thunder are led by Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, their 23-year-old point guard who has proven to be one of the fastest developing players in the league. He’s not quite in the truly elite group of under 25 guys with Luka and Trae, but he’s just below them. Shai was traded to the Thunder in the Paul George trade after being picked at 11 by the Clippers in 2018. He’s an outlier in the sense that not all guys picked 11 could lead your franchise in the way that Shai can, but he’s proof that there’s value in the draft outside of the number 1 pick. He’s also worth a boatload of picks in any trade.

Alongside Shai is Lugentz Dort, one of the league’s best individual defenders who has also become a handy scorer. Then they’re complemented by this year’s 6th pick, Josh Giddey, of whatever the Adelaide team is in the NBL fame. I checked out the Thunder this week to watch Giddey, and I couldn’t stop watching them. Giddey came into the league with a reputation as a passer, and he has definitely lived up to that. He knows where everyone is on the court his teammates know that if they find open space he can always hit them with a sneaky pass at off-angles or through tight spaces. He’s a good enough shooter to keep his defender honest and has a decent pull-up floater in the lane. 

It’s clear the Thunder front office knows how to develop young talent and they’ve always drafted well. If they do get a number 1 pick there’s a very good chance they nail it and get another franchise player. But the road to a number 1 pick is paved with many, many losses. 

Obviously, I want to see Giddey and Shai play meaningful basketball, many of Giddey’s great passes are going to guys with cement hands. The Thunder have the money and the draft capital to completely revamp their roster and capitalise on the development of their leading players. This season, they might lose 70 games. Are the guys who are actually good now willing to stick around for many more of those seasons? 

 

The Heat are absolutely terrifying

This team was never going to suck, but I had thought that being a veteran team, they would use the regular season as an extended training session and not play their cards until the playoffs. What I forgot is that we could hit net zero tomorrow if only we could harness the competitive energy of Pat Riley and Jimmy Butler. 

The Heat have come out swinging this season and are currently on pace to have the best defence of all time. Jimmy Butler is on another level right now. He seems to move as fast as the ball at times, running alongside passes to snatch them out of the air. Oh and he’s also playing with Bam Adebayo and PJ Tucker, another two freak defenders. 

On the other end of the court, Tyler Herro seems to have gotten over his second-year slump and moved on from the curse placed on him by Jack Harlow. It’s the Mo Bamba rule – any song named after an NBA player will inevitably perform better than the player itself. Herro has been an absolute flamethrower from deep this year and has looked incredible coming in as Miami’s 6th man to torch second units. 

Spending too much time in the bubble seemed to ruin most teams and Miami had some bad luck with injuries and covid last year. High-level defence is sustainable when your team is full of psychopaths, and Miami is overflowing with them. The offence may dip off but Miami are going to be an absolute pain in the arse for the rest of the league. 

jayson-tatum-celtics-angry

 

Boston are starting to fall apart

It’s early, and Boston are 2-5 after two close double-overtime losses and an overtime win against Charlotte. If one or two shots go differently they could be 4-3 and there would be no cause for concern. I was pretty high on Boston coming into this season and thought they would be a decent chance at finally making it to the Eastern Conference Finals, but those chances are diminishing. Boston can barely beat anyone in a regular 48-minute game. 

This could just be a rough start, Jaylen Brown had covid just before the season, it’s always tough for a new coach, etc. Except Marcus Smart just openly called out Tatum and Brown, saying “They don’t want to pass the ball. That’s something that they’re going to learn. They’re still learning”. 

These kinds of comments come, usually from superstar players, with the subtext of ‘trade him or trade me’. If Smart is saying this to the media, what is he saying in the locker room? Marcus Smart is supposed to be one of the veteran leaders of this team. This is his 8th year as a Celtic and he’s their longest tenured player. So it says a lot when he openly criticises Brown and Tatum only 7 games in. I think it might be less of a case that two players who have been in the league for more than 4 years know how to pass and more of a case that everyone hates each other.

I wouldn’t say to ring the alarm just yet, but I think it would be a wise decision to become aware of where the alarm is located and how quickly you can get there. Like you’re in an airplane, count the lights between you and the exit row, just in case. 

As we head into another week, we’re starting to see the separation of powers as the top teams set themselves apart. Hopefully I won’t get caught up watching the bottom of the league again next week, but then again, I might spend all of next week watching Cole Anthony running the pick and roll.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Ben Simmons has Trojan Horsed the 76ers

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Ben Simmons has Trojan Horsed the 76ers

by Joseph Murphy

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In an update to the story that has cast a shadow over the entire off-season, Ben Simmons has been suspended for one game after being tossed from practice.

Simmons will miss the Sixers opening game for “detrimental conduct” after coach Doc Rivers threw him from practice for refusing to participate in a team drill. In another welcome twist of the knife, hall of fame trash talker and teammate Joel Embiid said after practice “I don’t care about that man”. Safe to say, Simmons is an unwelcome presence.

Simmons returned to the Sixers last week, appearing unannounced to the team facility for a covid test. Since then, Ben has been seen at practice pulling faces and doing as close to nothing as he can get away it. My own sources have revealed that Simmons has also been routinely dropping reverse kangas in the staff toilets. 

The only reason Simmons is there is because of money. Philly called Simmons bluff that he would sit out the entire season and willingly lose the $33 million he was owed this year. In the end, $1.4 million worth of fines was enough to bring him back to Philly, but don’t think he’s there to do anything but keep up appearances.

To recap, his coach has had enough of him, his co-star doesn’t care about him, his employer doesn’t want to pay him and Philly fans, not known for their kindness, already hate him.

 

Still, Simmons is a part of the Sixers and present at practice. The mortal enemy of the entire franchise is within its four walls. He has Trojan Horsed his way back into the team, why should he care if his presence rots the place from within? If they don’t like it, they can trade him.

For the rest of the team, Simmons will continue being the biggest story about the Sixers, and that doesn’t look like changing. No matter what they achieve, they’ll be asked about Ben.

Nonetheless, Simmons needs to keep showing up to practice and making himself ready for games to make sure he gets paid. He could attempt to play the injury card, but Philly will fight just as hard to confirm any vague diagnosis of “back pain” or the like.

Philly are playing hardball, and Simmons should too. All reports say he hasn’t been paid since July, the poor guy. If he wants to get paid, he needs to keep rocking up to practice and be ready to play.

This situation will continue to escalate; Philly say they’re not trading Simmons for a role player and the most likely candidates for a superstar trade (Lillard and Beal) haven’t made any attempts to get out of their own situations. Simmons continued presence is motivation enough for a trade and the man is a deep well of drama. My hope is that he keeps raising the stakes and turns up to ready to play their first home game against the Nets on Saturday. If he takes the court, expect a genuine riot. The game’s on Kayo at 9:30 am, set your alarms.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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10 More Hot Takes to Pretend You Know the NBA: Part Two

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10 More Hot Takes to Pretend You Know the NBA: Part Two

by Joseph Murphy

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This is the second instalment of an introduction to the NBA world and its yarns, which is intended to help you pretend to your mates that you’ve got a clue what’s going on in the NBA. Catch yourself up on part one here. Part 1 is a guide to the 5 most supported teams in the league, enough for you to tread water in any general NBA conversation. Problem us, the NBA is competitive now as it has been in the last few decades and its stars are relatively well spread out across the league. 

There’s another problem, that being the obsessive nature of the NBA fan. Once the conversation has steered to the NBA, it’s parked there until everyone has purged themselves of their feelings about whether Rudy Gobert is overrated (he is, but at the same time, he isn’t). You’ve contributed your chosen take, thinking you were done and could put some real thought into the pub menu, maybe today you’d splash that extra few dollars for a rib eye (you won’t and you’re getting a parmy, stop lying to yourself); suddenly, you’re part of an hour-long degustation of NBA dribble. 

I’ve chosen the 5 most likely teams to come up in any follow up conversations. I’ve done market research on these, they’re the 5 teams that came up when I found myself stuck in a recent conversation with a relative of mine. Apart from being related, the only thing we have in common is the NBA, so we dribbled. 

Just remember, picking takes is like backing roughies, you have to accept the chance you’re wrong. But just like you might throw $10 at a roughie and win $500, when you’re right on a take, you’ve suddenly cracked the code. Just remember to never waiver, never apologise and never acknowledge when you were wrong. 

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Dallas Mavericks

Dallas is an intriguing team that for some reason I just don’t like this year. I know Luka Doncic is by far the best young player in the league, and he’s knocking on the door of the top 5 guys, but that’s it.

Top 5 is a good non-committal measure of who you think the most talented players are. You might even think Luka is part of that group. But think of the 5 best players and you’ll realise he’s still outside of it, for now. In order of bias, my top 5 are Curry, Giannis, Durant, Harden and Lebron. Luka is still in the Embiid, Davis, Dame, Kyrie group, which is perfectly fine for a guy who’ll only be 23 this season. 

Luka will enter his fourth season as the shortest odds for MVP for the second year in a row. He’s one of the most talented individual scorers in the league, a near-flawless playmaker and he’s gone from being a traffic cone on defense to having a slight presence on that end. There is no part of me that doubts Luka’s talent and he continues to improve every year; but, outside of him there’s very little that is positive about the Mavs. 

That might not matter, Luka has proven all he needs to win is the ball in his hands. He almost won an Olympic bronze medal without any recognisable professional players and hasn’t let the fact he’s never had a good team stop him in the NBA. 

Hot take: Luka drags the Mavs kicking and screaming through to the Western Conference Finals

This season, Dallas are going to pay Kristaps Porzingis $31 million and will likely need to keep paying him that much until 2024. That name might be familiar to the casual fan, you’ve probably seen his name on old Knicks jerseys, from the time where he was a 7 foot 3 super freak with seemingly unlimited potential who loved coming screaming in from the side of the court for huge putback dunks. Sadly, those days are gone and Porzingis is a ground-bound defensive liability who can’t accept that he’s not the focal point of the offence. Porzingis spent the playoffs being run ragged on defence, the Clippers constantly targeting him in pick and roll action.

Salary cap-wise, the Mavs can’t do anything without moving Porzingis on. This is the last year of Luka’s rookie deal and his salary will jump from $10 million to $35 million next year. Balancing the books gets pretty tough when you’re paying two blokes more than $30 million each and one of them doesn’t do anything. 

On top of that, the Mavs hired Jason Kidd as their new coach. Kidd is coming off two years as an assistant coach with the Lakers, which were suspiciously quiet., especially for Kidd.  I had expected that Kidd would have knifed Lakers head coach Frank Vogel within 6 months of the Lakers 2019-20 season, but Vogel was never under any pressure and very little was said about Kidd during his time at the Lakers. 

Kidd was formerly head coach at the Nets and the Bucks and has employed some interesting tactics during his time on the sideline. Whether it’s having a player intentionally knock into him so he can spill his drink onto the court for a free timeout, canceling Christmas for his players, or forcing players who don’t know how to swim into the pool, Kidd hasn’t developed much of a reputation for his X’s and O’s. 

Hot take: the Mavs are about to waste another year of Luka, Kidd will be fired by March.

Denver Nuggets v New Orleans Pelicans

 

Denver Nuggets 

Thinking about the Nuggets makes me sad. Coming into last year they were perfectly placed for a run to the title on the back of Murray and Jokic’s dominance in the bubble. In the regular season they didn’t show any signs of slowing, Jokic solidified himself as MVP and Michael Porter Jr showed massive improvement, shooting his dick off after the All-Star break. 

Tragedy struck in April when Murray went down in the 4th quarter with a torn ACL in his first game back from a 4 game absence. Last year was rough in terms of injuries and this was a real heartbreaker. There’s a chance that Murray will be able to come back before the playoffs this season and I’ve got no doubt Denver will be a playoff team again this year, but if Murray was healthy Denver would be my smokey pick to win the championship.

Hot take: nothing awaits Denver, just pain and sadness   

Denver will still be a great team this year and they’ve had an entire off-season to restructure their offence without Murray. They also have the most uniquely talented player in Jokic, a 6 foot 11 monster who sees 3 plays ahead on offence, who can hit any shot and at least once a game will do something you’ve never seen before. People can cast doubt on Jokic’s MVP, earned in a season where a lot of the major contenders had injuries, but that’s false, he was incredible last year. Jokic alone gets you to 40 wins. 

Every year Denver somehow unearths a gem on their bench, going back to guys like Will Barton, Torrey Craig and PJ Dozier, they’ve always had unexpected extra production from an overachiever. It’s not much more than blind optimism to think that Bol Bol will play more than 5 minutes a game this year but could you imagine him becoming an impact player off the bench? 

It’s a shame they won’t be able to show their full strength this year but don’t be surprised when Denver knocks out someone like the Lakers or Suns come playoff time. If you’re looking to pick a team and don’t want to look like a bandwagoner, pick Denver. 

Hot take: Denver have a puncher’s chance of making it deep into the playoffs

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Charlotte Hornets

 These guys are the absolute hot boys of the NBA. They are young, athletic and play ridiculously fast – not to mention they have the best commentators in the league. One moment they’ll be back on defence then as soon as they get their hands on the ball LaMelo, of Illawarra Hawks fame, will throw a no-look full-court pass with his left hand to Miles Bridges while their commentator, Eric Collins screams “HUM DIDDLY DEE!” If you consume basketball via Instagram, this should all be familiar to you.

 I was one of the many doubters LaMelo proved wrong last year, he put together a great rookie season and showed that even one truly elite skill, in his case passing, is enough to get you by in the NBA. He also showed enough of a shooting touch and a nice inside game to believe he’ll improve in those areas. He’s a traffic cone on defence but who cares about that when the game’s a race for whoever can score 120 first?

 Charlotte remains a young team with good veteran leadership in Gordon Hayward; every indication is that they will improve. Charlotte will be fighting for the playoffs anywhere in the 6-10 range with teams like Indiana, Washington, Chicago, Toronto, Cleveland – not the toughest competition.

 Hot Take: Charlotte will keep improving, make the playoffs and take an upset win in the first round

 Facing reality, Charlotte are one injury away from complete failure. When Hayward doesn’t play, they fall apart. Unfortunately, Hayward has had a string of injuries dating back to a horrific broken ankle in 2017 and has spent most of the last few years on the sideline.

 They also traded for Mason Plumlee this off-season. Plumlee is perhaps the least aware player in the NBA, especially in a big moment. During his time in the bubble with Denver, Plumlee was responsible for two game-winners, where he stood and watched his man score, then turned to his teammates to find someone to blame. You might argue that he won’t be on the court for big moments, but remember that he somehow had the ability to convince Mike Malone that he was needed in the clutch for a far more talented Denver team, twice. I hate that he’s on this team. This might be a disproportionate reaction to a bench player, but trust me, Mason Plumlee ruins basketball games. 

 This leads to the point that Charlotte only play one side of the floor. It’s all well and good scoring 120 but you need to stop the other team from scoring 130. Pre-season doesn’t count for much but Charlotte just lost to Dallas but 68 points, the worst loss in history.

 Hot take: Charlotte are a gimmick fake playoff team who are paper-thin

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Atlanta Hawks

Please join me in welcoming the new villain of the league, Trae Young. Trae spent the playoffs quieting crowds at Madison Square Garden, shimmying before shooting open 3’s, intimidating Ben Simmons from taking a lay-up so much that he’s now refused to ever play for the Sixers again, and showing everyone he’s one of the best young players in the league. I fucking loved every minute of it.

Atlanta ended last season strong, taking 2 games off the Bucks in the Eastern Conference Finals, one of which Trae scored 48 points, the other when Giannis’ knee bent the complete opposite direction. Last year’s success was ahead of schedule, but I refuse to believe that Trae, who again scored 48 in his Conference Finals debut, lacks the ability to do it again.

Not to mention Atlanta worked out how to use Bogdanovic properly in the second half of the season and they’ll get healthy versions of De’Andre Hunter and Cam Reddish back – really great guys to round out their lineup. Add to this the fact that John Collins has made a habit of taking his defender’s souls by catching lobs and dunking all over them.

I’m really high on this Hawks team and I can’t see a reason to doubt them. You can bank on Trae scoring 12 points in the last 2 minutes of a game and waving goodbye to the other team at least 3 times this year.

Come the greatest day of the year, Boxing Day, make sure you start your day watching the Hawks play the Knicks in Madison Square Garden. Knicks fans should have it out for Trae and he’ll embrace it. Prepare for at least one thrown bottle.

Hot take: Atlanta have announced themselves as a top team in the East and are a chance at the Finals

In anticipation of some fight back, I am willingly ignoring the fact that Trae abused the rules so badly last season that they had to change the rules. Inspired by James Harden, Trae led the league in free throw attempts last year by jumping into defenders trying to contest his jump shots, or stopping for no reason when someone was chasing him. You have to remember that Trae is a villain, and that is completely villainous behaviour which should be admired. 

Hot take: fuck you, there’s no negative take. Learn to love Trae.

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Milwaukee Bucks

It could be said that if you were ever going to sneak yourself a championship, it was last year. The Lakers were injured most of the season and quickly fell out of the playoffs, the Clippers looked dangerous until Kawhi tore his ACL, Brooklyn lost both Kyrie and Harden to injury, the Warriors were missing Klay, the Nuggets missing Murray and both Utah and Philly choked their chances away.

It’s easy to forget that this is the same team that was completely capitulated by Brooklyn in the opening 2 game of their series, who were also on the verge of firing their coach until they clawed their way back into the series. History is written by the victors, and the Bucks get to write the story of them rallying behind their dominant superstar as he hit another level in his career, instead of the story of a stilted offence that could be shut down by broken-down Blake Griffin. 

This is a great team, but for them to repeat last years’ success, they’ll need to be in the right place at the right time again and everyone’s luck runs out sometime. 

Hot take: there’s 0 chance the Bucks go back-to-back 

Instead, you could point to Giannis’ series winning 50 points in game 6 of the Finals, or his game 5 alley-oop, or his game 4 block. The man stood up in 3 crucial games and decided no one was going to beat him. That game 5 alley-oop sticks out in my head as one of the most fucked plays I’ve ever seen. After stealing the ball from Booker, Jrue Holiday has every reason to run straight to the corner and hold the ball, draw out the clock and wait for the foul: if he does that they win and he’s the hero. I had to watch the video to remember he stole the ball from Booker, that moment alone should stand out. 

Instead, he looks up and sees an absolute behemoth of a man crossing half-court unimpeded with his hand raised and Jrue tosses it up. There’s every chance the ball’s tipped, or Giannis doesn’t quite catch it, or he doesn’t make the dunk. But he doesn’t. The face of the franchise crushes it home and seals the game. Traditional wisdom says that’s a bad play, but going against traditional wisdom is what gets you Finals glory, and Giannis is dripping in enough Finals glory to get him through the next 3 seasons.

The team hasn’t changed all that much, PJ Tucker is out which is a loss, but at the end of the day, the only real question is whether Giannis is healthy, which he is – that makes them an elite team. Giannis isn’t scared of anyone in the East, and he’s so competitive he wants to go against Brooklyn, beat Harden and Durant and prove that he’s the best player in the world. He’s gotten better every year of his career, there’s no reason to think he won’t again.

Hot take: Giannis will prove he is the best player in the world, winning back-to-back finals and Finals MVP.  

There you have it, we’re about a week away from the NBA and you can talk shit about a third of the league. Hopefully, this has also got you hot and heavy for a big year of NBA. After a bubble season and a shortened covid season, this is the first 82 game NBA season since 2019. The league made it through covid fine, but there’s nothing like watching 20,000 rabid New Yorkers screaming in a packed Madison Square Garden on a Wednesday night. With such a packed season, the NBA is always there for you, there’s always something happening and there’s always plenty of people ready to dribble and yarn about it

 

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