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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

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Absolute Dribble: NBA Week 5 is the Official Lebron Hate Week

by Joseph Murphy

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I think it’s the inherent jealousy of humanity that makes it so enjoyable to see the best of us falter? Maybe it’s something about seeing your own inadequacy in their brilliance that means you don’t mind when they’re taken down a peg or t1o.

Do you think when settlers discovered Canadian Redwoods they decided just to cut down a couple of the little ones since that was probably all they needed? Fuck no, they went and cut down the big bastards first and decided to make massive boats out of them – I think. So, when it comes to the NBA, there’s never been anyone bigger than LeBron, and after returning from injury LeBron has had himself a week.

The pile-on started immediately when Celtics bench warmer Enes Kanter, who has been very openly anti-China this season, posted a pair of shoes that contained an image of LeBron being crowned by Xi Jinping, in response to LeBron’s non-committal comments about China made during the 2019 off-season. Kanter then proceeded to wear those shoes in James’ return game, which the Celtics won handily. LeBron and Kanter have had their share of clashes but it’s mostly been one-way traffic: Kanter pulling classic moves like standing next to LeBron and yelling at him without making direct eye contact. I’m all for this most recent move, purely for the fact that it’s taken since 2019 for Kanter to come up with this.

Come his next game and LeBron is out there (unintentionally?) throwing bows and starting another shoving match. The most important thing I’ve learned from the whole non-event that was the push and shove was that Isaiah Stewart’s nickname is “Beef Stew”, and I’ll be sure to keep track of Mr Stew when he’s back from his upcoming suspension.

This all leads to the tantalising opportunity to pile onto LeBron, and certain media members who have made their careers criticising his every move are about to have a field day conducting frame-by-frame analysis of where LeBron’s elbow was and when. Just wait for some recently retired player who’s trying to break into the media come out and say “he’s a dirty player” to try to catch some attention. For my part, I’ll gladly join on this dogpile – Jordan’s better fuck you.

If LeBron has ever done you any hurt, this week is the time to get one back. Whether it’s about China, or Space Jam 2, or you just want to annoy some LeBron fans and say he’s old and he sucks now, I encourage you to join the growing chorus of dribblers in LeBron hate week.

 

Just try stopping Giannis

The Bucks are sitting in the 9th spot in the East, just above .500 with a 9-8 record. Some might call this a poor start for the reigning champions, but both Middleton and Holiday have missed games. Khris with an H is still looking a touch rusty in his return from COVID, yet to crack 20 points in the 3 games since his return. 

In that same stretch, Giannis has decided “fuck this, I’m not losing” and in his last 3 games is averaging 26 points and 16 rebounds, including a 32 point, 20 rebound effort in just 30 minutes against Orlando. That’s the NBA equivalent of scoring 5 tries in a half.

Defences used to try and force Giannis into taking his turnaround jumper outside the paint, which was one of his few weaknesses, often clanking badly off the rim. With his back to the basket, he could see fewer passes and if a defender could force Giannis to pick up his dribble they were much less likely to end up inspecting his nuts when he turned the corner and dunked all over them. Too bad for the rest of the league, but he’s hitting turnarounds now. 

In a small sample size, Giannis is good for 43% on his left-sided short-range jumpers and 46% at the elbow. Since Giannis made his leap to superstardom, he’s been a nightmare to give any space to since it just becomes a runway to the rim. If a defender needs to worry about guarding against a shot at the elbow then the man with the world’s strongest body is just going to straight-up bully them. Not to mention that he’s basically solved the “Giannis Wall” now too (where 3 guys would form a line across the paint and simultaneously defend him) becoming an advanced enough passer to hit wing scorers or spotting when the wall isn’t quite formed and busting through the gap for a huge dunk. 

I’m in the camp that Giannis doesn’t need a 3 point shot and if he could, just cancel the league. Maybe only Draymond and Kawhi could defend Giannis right now but if he could extend his game beyond the 3 point line the league would look like the 60s all over again when Wilt Chamberlain was rocking up hungover and scoring 100.

Someone is going to have to try some new gimmick against Giannis, because nothing else is working right now. We won’t see that until the playoffs since no one will want to give him a chance to work it out ahead of time.

 

I could not be higher on the Warriors

If you wouldn’t mind, it’s time to gush about the greatest team in basketball, if not world sport, right now.

It’s not just because Steph is the front runner for the MVP, or because Andre Igoudala has transformed from walking corpse to prime Iggy, or because Jordan Poole is the new young hot boy taking a leap.

Of course, Steph is the most obvious factor in the Warriors early success. In their recent win against Cleveland the Dubs pulled off a 35-8 fourth quarter to close out the game – Steph was directly responsible for 33 of those points. It turns out offense is pretty easy when the entire defence only pays attention to one guy. Big shock, Steph is the best shooter of all time, that’s nothing new.

What I can’t get over is the defence, which is sitting comfortably at #1 in the league. This is where Draymond proves why a guy who looks like he’s wearing a backpack when he shoots can get paid $24 million because he’s able to keep Durant scoreless over a quarter.

As pick-and-roll offense has taken over the league it’s become the habit of teams to switch everything. This invariably leads to teams hunting out mismatches on switchy defences, and highlight reels of centres being embarrassed by point guards.

That’s not to say that a switching defence doesn’t work, it’s just that it’s not as easy as saying “switch everything” and hope your guys can cover. In the Warriors case, when they switch, they keep switching. Whenever the Warriors are stuck with a defensive mismatch, Draymond, Igoudala or Kevin Looney are scrambling off-ball to replace the assignment, shutting down the advantage. Draymond and Igoudala are especially impressive, covering gaps in each other’s coverage without even speaking to each other, going on mental connection alone.

More than anything, Draymond is playing with the renewed confidence of a guy who knows his team is good again. He’s the absolute leader of the team, the voice you can hear constantly from the on-court microphones, even when he’s on the bench. He’s using that presence to keep the rest of the team engaged. Even when up 20 against Brooklyn last week, Draymond was screaming at his teammates like it was a game 7 after they gave up an easy layup. The majority of the team being relatively unscarred by the playoffs, and not being Kevin Durant and willing to talk back to the team crazy, are conforming to his ways and maintaining an elite defence.

I know some people don’t like Draymond’s antics, he gets away with genuine referee intimidation – even last game after not receiving a foul call he yelled directly into the referee’s face a good 5 times “CALL IT EVAN”. Obviously, I’m biased but I love how he cares so much about winning every possession that he is willing to make himself look like the worst guy in the league.

On top of all this – hey good on you Andrew Wiggins. The guy who everyone thought would be the face of the league within 5 years of being drafted has been playing genuinely good basketball. He’s not expected to do anything outside the system, which is perfect for him; he just needs to get to his spots and make his rotations on time. When he does that, he gets the ball in easy locations to score. When he does it really well, he gets to score a lot. It’s nice to see him pick himself back up after a rough couple of years in Minnesota.

As we head towards week 6 we’re sure to see just as much drama. We might even see a real punch thrown soon enough. If I could put money on it, I don’t know who I’d bet on to actually throw the first punch, but I’d like a market on the victim being Mason Plumlee.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Everything You Need to Know From the First Week of the NBA

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Everything You Need to Know From the First Week of the NBA

by Joseph Murphy

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It’s been a week since the opening of the NBA season, and I am in total bliss. In just a week we’ve had a fight break out on between Anthony Davis and Dwight Howard on the Lakers bench, the beginnings of another Donald Sterling-esque scandal following whispers that Suns owner Robert Sarver is potentially as bad a person as he is a decision-maker, and the continued Simmons saga, as he attempts to make power plays against noted power player Daryl Morey. If rugby league drama is written by the writers of Home and Away, NBA drama is written by the writers of Succession, and it’s only been a week.

My favourite moment this week came in the Knick’s home opener against the Celtics, a double-overtime game in front of 20,000 screaming New Yorkers in Madison Square Garden. With 26 seconds left in the game Derrick Rose, the youngest MVP in league history, of horrific knee injury fame, takes advantage of a double ball screen from Randle and Fornier, drives the lane and banks a one-foot runner to ice the game. For a guy whose best years were denied to him because of injury, who would have been the point guard of a generation, who has bounced around the league the last few years to close out a game like that, it brings a tear to your eye.

I’ve watched enough basketball in the last week to be behind on nearly every other aspect of my life and instead of catching up on that, I’m choosing to impart to you what I’ve learned from not considering grocery shopping a priority.

Ja Morant is about to take over the league

Ja Morant broke my heart last year, but he’s so fun to watch that I can’t find it within myself to even dislike him. In the play-in game last year, he played the game of his life to beat the Warriors and advance to the playoffs, and has continued that form to start this season, averaging 35 points and 8 assists in his first 3 games.

Ja is a ridiculous athlete; he’s lean and wily enough to spin and slip between gaps in defenders on the pick and roll, or he can take a burst of speed and jump a foot above the rim for another absurd dunk. Ja’s playing like he’s just learnt a cheat code for unlimited points. He’s becoming the master of the play where he drives through three defenders at the hoop, comes out the other side and hits the circus shot behind his head. One of those plays that makes you realise that no matter how hard you trained you could never be an NBA player.

Ja is obviously the leader of his Memphis Grizzlies team, which is full of young talent and looks to be a real playoff threat. Hopefully, Jaren Jackson Jr can continue showing he’s a valuable number 2 behind him. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think that he averages 30 points a game this season and takes the 6th seed.

 

I don’t care that the Bulls are 4 – 0

Yes, the Bulls have the best record in the league, partly because no Western Conference team has played 4 games yet. For all I care the Bulls could go 82 – 0, which they won’t, because they suck. The Bulls 4 wins have come against the Pistons, who they’ve played twice, the Pelicans, who are disgusting, and the Raptors, who can’t decide if they want to tank yet. In their opening game against Detroit, this apparently explosive offensive team only managed to score 14 points in the first quarter. Excuse me if I’m not falling over myself to hand them a championship.

The Bulls start playing actual NBA basketball this week, facing the Knicks, Jazz, Celtics and Sixers. They’ve enjoyed running train on teams not trying in the preseason and beating the bottom end of the league. This is a team that can’t defend a shadow who is now going to try and stop Julius Randle, Donovan Mitchell, Jayson Tatum and Joel Embiid. Reality will catch up with Chicago quickly.

 

The Warriors are 1 Klay Away

On the other side of the league, the Warriors and Jazz are both undefeated. As good as they are, the Jazz have only played 2 games so it’s a bit of an empty title for them. The Warriors, though, have just completed the California sweep, beating the Lakers, Clippers and Kings. Full disclosure, I kind of just made up the whole California sweep thing and I am unwilling to accept any criticism that I just made up an empty title to suit my own bias.

If you found yourself at a pub lunch on Friday you would have seen Steph Curry score 25 points in the first quarter against the Clippers, making all 10 of his attempted shots. The Warriors went on to let the Clippers back into the game, but Steph stepped up in the 4th, hitting two massive 3’s to close out the game. The second of those was a lesson in how dangerous he can be off the ball. Steph was double-teamed when taking the ball up the court and tossed it ahead to Damion Lee. In the space of three seconds, he zags behind Draymond, gets the ball back and it’s over – 3 points.

The Warriors play a unique offence based on movement and passing. In the last two years, with a roster mostly composed of guys who aren’t in the league anymore, it looked like the Warriors were drawing up plays on an old iPhone 7. It turns out that style works a whole lot better with guys who can actually pass, and a guy like Nemanja Bjelica has been a  welcome addition. Bjelica plays a sly-dog game of kicking out weird passes from odd angles which no one could ever expect him to make as well as possessing the ability to always find himself an open shot when he’s off the ball.  

The Warriors face the challenge of reintroducing Wiseman and Kuminga into the lineup, neither of which are great passers, but they don’t need to rely on either player to achieve success in the regular season and can have the luxury of bringing them in slowly. The real addition will be Klay, who could join the team as early as Christmas. The combination of ball movement which isn’t solely facilitated by Steph, letting him run around and cause havoc off-ball combined with the constant threat of Klay behind the arc is mouthwatering.

 

I really like Indiana and Sacramento, but I’m afraid they will betray me

I’ve found myself really drawn to this Indiana team, who, like always, should be a mid-tier Eastern Conference team who can threaten to make the second round at best. I’m interested in what Rick Carlisle will do with their offence and I love watching Sabonis on offence. He’s a renaissance man in the way he can score with his back to the basket, but he’s also a good enough shooter to play in a modern offence.

What I really love is his ability to run out on a fastbreak, go straight under the basket, throw his defender off him and finish with either hand. I’m just a sucker for how often he puts his defender on the ground and I can’t help but watch a few minutes of every Pacers game whenever I open League Pass.

On top of Sabonis, the Pacers drafted Chris Duarte, who immediately looks like he’s been in the league for 3 years. I don’t know why, but I’m optimistic that this team might have a solid run in them once everything starts to click. Of course, they could also completely crater, which would mean I’m going to waste another year watching random 6 minute stretches of Sabonis offence, hoping for a sign this team might do something.

Another team I’m starting to like, which I’m afraid to even say out loud, is the Sacramento Kings. I’ve been catfished by this team the past few years on the false promise that they can build something behind the rising talent of De’Aaron Fox. Like Indiana they too have a promising rookie in Davion Mitchell, who started his NBA career by putting the clamps on Damian Lillard and Donovan Mitchell. He’s got all the hallmarks of an elite defender and a real pain in the arse to play against.

The Kings have been such a dumpster fire throughout the last decade that even making the play-in game as a 10 seed would be considered a success. This season, they already pissed off the biggest player agent in the NBA, who tweeted their front office was a case study in mismanagement, and De’Aaron Fox’s dad, Aaron Fox, has probably gone and liked another tweet saying De’Aaron should be traded.  

Maybe I just like being hurt, but I just want to believe the Kings can do something this year and finally make use of the genuine talent they have on their roster.

Week 2 brings another week of high drama, probably another Simmons development and hopefully some more Lakers infighting. As usual, I’ll be commandeering the TV to make sure no one else enjoys themselves while I watch the third quarter of the Blazers against the Jazz.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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10 Hot Takes to Make You Sound Legit to Your NBA Mates

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10 Hot Takes to Make You Sound Legit to Your NBA Mates

by Joseph Murphy

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Have you ever been catching up with mates, enjoying a few beers and some dribble and yarn when suddenly everyone starts talking almost entirely in percentages, trades and player contracts? It’s about this time every year, as the days get hotter and longer, that ‘those mates’ start to move to the dark side of the sporting moon, the American variants. This is a guide to get you into those conversations. 

I’m talking of course about the NBA. I don’t know anything about the NFL so if you’re looking for tips on how to chat gridiron, I can’t help you with any more than “Lamar Jackson is cool”. What I can offer you is what I’ve learnt through my years of being the guy at work whose second screen is always that little bit askew, who is very careful to keep a handy half-complete word document ready to bring up and obscure the Orlando v Oklahoma City game that I’m intently watching to make sure Shai Gilgeous-Alexander reaches his rebounds over. More than that, I am an utter dribbler. 

So let me guide you through the world of NBA yarn. There is no greater conversational tool in  the NBA landscape than a hot take. And of course, being a dribbler who has decided to contribute to a conversation you know nothing about, you need to make an impact with pure unqualified opinion and unwavering bias. You can drop the following hot takes into conversations with your NBA mates. Because I’m generous, I’ve given you both a positive and a negative take so you can pick whatever flavour of conversational poison you’d like to inject.

For reasons of my own sanity, I’ve only picked the 5 most discussed of the 30 NBA teams. If you find that your mates are having lengthy conversations about the Sacramento Kings or the Orlando Magic, you need to get new mates, those blokes have gone too deep. I also haven’t covered the Philadelphia 76er’s because, as much as that is the most interesting story in sport right now, there’s not much to say until if and when Simmons gets traded.

The most important thing to remember is to avoid using statistics at all costs: do not DYOR. This might seem contrary to your instinct as a dribbler to attempt to back up your shit takes with a quick google that immediately proves you wrong, but just know that NBA dribblers are well-versed in useless stats. Like most American sports, the NBA tracks everything, and unless you know every real plus-minus, on/off, offensive rating and defensive rating you’ll very quickly find yourself swimming nude with the tide all the way in. 

Thankfully, there is an easy way to stave off any statistical assaults by the dribbler who wants to quote James Harden’s effective 3 point field goal percentage when a defender is between 2-4 feet (a real stat): reply ‘mate I just use the eye test’, meaning you’d rather judge a player from watching them than by reading nonsense statistics. This simple phrase, based in pure vibe, immediately takes you out of the realm of statistics and into the realm of a bloke that actually watches games instead of blogs full of stats; a basketball purist, if you will. 

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Chicago Bulls

Every dribbler’s first dalliance with NBA fandom begins with the Bulls. Chances are you’ve watched the Last Dance and at one point you bought a random Jordan jersey in Bali a few years back. Congratulations, you’re basically a Bulls fan. Be prepared to see a lot of blokes dusting off their old Derrick Rose #1 jerseys if they start playing well this year.

It’s a commonly held thought that the Bulls being good is good for the league. That might be true, given they’ve got one of the largest supporter bases, but I think it’s more fun when the Bulls suck. Bulls fans are among the most delirious NBA fans, always convinced the big free agent will sign with them or that their latest rookie who was picked at 26 is somehow going to win MVP this year. Bulls fans have been battling with nearly a decade of mediocrity and year after year of rosters full of forgettable players. And before all you Bulls fans come attacking me let me give you credit for that one playoff game you beat Lebron’s Cavs; congratulations, you didn’t get swept. 

This year, they’ve been bolstered through the additions of Lonzo Ball, Demar DeRozan and Alex Caruso. Lonzo is a decent NBA player, who every year has supposed to become more than he was the previous year but somehow never makes it. Demar DeRozan is a ball stopper stuck in the years before teams realised shooting a shit tonne of 3s was way better than mid-range jumpers (the demilitarised zone between the key and the 3 point line), Demar’s bread and butter. Caruso is a meme, but in terms of skill the most you can say about him is that he is a basketball player on an NBA team.

Luckily for the Bulls, the Eastern Conference is still top-heavy and making the playoffs only requires you to play good basketball for about 30% of the season.  

Hot take: the Bulls are no better than a 6 seed in the East 

If you detected bias just now, that’s because I really think this Bulls team sucks, I feel it deep down in my bones. But I promised you a positive take so let me flip the switch and betray myself for the sake of the punter and dribbler. 

Patrick Williams had an underrated rookie season and should continue to improve. Even though I know it’s probably never going to work out, I still believe in Coby White. Admittedly, Lavine had a great year last year and actually played defense in the Olympics, something he’s been allergic to during his time in the league. Not to mention he’ll be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the year and will be playing to prove he’s worth the $105 million he’ll be asking for next year. The Bulls should be desperate to keep him, and the only way they do that is by making the playoffs. 

Hot take: it’s the 90’s again baby! The Bulls are good again!

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Boston Celtics

The Celtics are another team that falls into the general dribbler consciousness. Chances are you’ve got an old Rondo #9 jersey somewhere in the back of the wardrobe. I wouldn’t encourage you to break that one out though, Rondo has taken a lap around the league in the last few years, playing for the Celtics’ nemesis, the Lakers, twice. 

The Celtics have been a cocktease for the last three years. They’re built around Jayson Tatum and Jalen Brown, both under 25 and talented as fuck. They’ve had two chances at making the Finals in the last four years, a benchmark for an elite team. They had one of the best coaches in the league in Brad Stevens, who has moved into the General Manager role this year. Apparently their new coach, Ime Udoka, is a gun, but that’s been said of a thousand coaches who also ended up getting fired in their first year. 

It’s hard to know where to land on this team. They had Kyrie, that failed, so they got Gordon Hayward, and that failed too. Kyrie left and they replaced him with Kemba Walker, which failed. Off-season wise, the Celtics didn’t add anyone who’ll make the team obviously better, but they added a bunch of guys that won’t make them obviously worse. Still, Tatum and Brown are absolute freaks who haven’t even hit their prime. It’s hard to think that this season won’t go well with them taking more leadership in the squad. But it’s been Boston’s year since 2018 and I’ve been hurt too many times. 

In 2018 there were 3 properly good Eastern Conference teams, now the Celtics have to compete with at least Milwaukee, Brooklyn, Philadelphia, Miami, Atlanta and maybe New York and Chicago. For Boston, success should be making it past these teams into the Finals. 

Hot take: the Celtics are moving backwards while everyone around them gets better. Trade Tatum and Brown for picks now and rebuild.

Hot take: Tatum and Brown are ready to take this team to the promised land.

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Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers return after what was a disappointing title defence, being knocked out in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual Western Conference Champions, the Phoenix Suns. This was equal parts due to horrible injury luck, with Lebron and Anthony Davis missing much of the season through injury. 

This off-season, the Lakers have revamped their lineup all over again, trading much of their youth to Washington for Russell Westbrook and bringing in well-aged talent in the form of 37 year-old Carmelo Anthony and 36 year-old Trevor Ariza. More positive and likely to contribute are the additions of Malik Monk and Kendrick Nunn, young guys who have shown plenty of talent in flashes with their previous teams, who both signed ‘prove it’ one year deals. 

No one attracts takes like Lebron James, he is among both the most loved and the most hated athletes of all time. He has the greatest basketball mind of all time, he’s won every award you can possibly win, he’s about to start his 19th season and he’s still easily a top 5 player in the league. He has done some of the most amazing things you will ever see on a basketball court, but somehow he’s just one of those guys that’s fun to hate. 

If you think that last year was a failed season for the Lakers, be aware that Lebron doesn’t fail twice in a row. The Lakers missed the playoffs in 2019 and won the championship the next year after adding Anthony Davis. Lebron needs 2 more championships to equal Jordan, he will not stop until he reaches that goal.

Hot take: the Lakers have re-tooled and are ready for another championship, Lebron will win MVP and Finals MVP.

On the other hand, Russell Westbrook has only made it past the first round of the playoffs once in the last 5 years. When he did make it to the second round in 2020, he played for the Houston Rockets against the Lakers, who thought so little of his shooting potential that they basically didn’t guard him. Westbrook is no longer the athletic freak he once was, playing 2 feet above the rim. One could argue that he is an effective player statistically, averaging a triple double last year, but that’s the same lie you tell yourself when you drink Pure Blonde acting like it’s somehow healthy. Stop lying to yourself. 

As I mentioned earlier, this roster is old as fuck, the oldest in the league. I thought Trevor Ariza retired at least 3 years ago. Carmelo is fun to watch shoot, but pretending like he’s going to make an impact when he hasn’t been able to move around a screen since he was in New York. 

Oh and don’t forget Dwight Howard and Rajon Rondo. If you remember playing NBA 2k10 back in the day these should all be familiar names to you. Sadly watching these guys play now is kind of like putting that disc back in and realising Xbox 360 graphics weren’t as realistic as you once thought. The Western Conference isn’t the place to carry dead weight on your roster. It is a ruthless conference loaded with the best teams and the greatest talent, and only one team makes it to the Finals. 

Hot take: the Lakers have wasted roster and salary for a bunch of betas that won’t contribute anything. The West has moved on.

2021 NBA Playoffs - Brooklyn Nets v Boston Celtics

 

Brooklyn Nets

Holy fuck this team is complicated. Obviously they are talented as fuck, boasting a lineup including Kevin Durant, James Harden and Kyrie Irving. But that’s in jeopardy as apparently Kyrie is refusing to get vaccinated and, if he isn’t vaccinated, he will miss all 41 of the Nets home games this year. The problem is that Kevin Durant and James Harden are so good that they could take the number 1 seed in the East without him. 

That’s really where these takes are formed. Without delving into pro-vax rhetoric I’ll state the obvious that missing one of the best point guards in the world for half a season is a bad thing.On top of that, Durant and Harden spent a lot of last season injured, with Harden missing most of the playoffs with injury. Health is a massive concern for this team. 

Hot take: there is no chance the Nets can put together a championship calibre lineup without Kyrie and keep both Harden and Durant healthy

However, the Nets had a great off-season. You’ll probably know that they added Patty Mills and kept hold of Blake Griffin, who made solid contributions in last year’s playoffs. They drafted Cam Thomas, who looks great, added a great veteran in Paul Millsap and should see more improvement out of their young guns Nic Claxton and Bruce Brown, who will be more comfortable playing with Durant and Harden. 

Historically, any team with Kevin Durant is a good team and any team with James Harden is a good team. Durant and Harden together makes a team fucking amazing, they proved it back in Oklahoma City and would have proved it again last year when Harden went out. The only reason the Nets were eliminated was that Durant’s toe was on the line in their game 7 against the Bucks, meaning he hit a game-tying 2 pointer instead of a game-winning 3. Really, this isn’t difficult, Durant is the best player in the world. This is hardly a hot take. 

Hot take: Durant and Harden can lead Brooklyn to a championship without Kyrie

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Golden State Warriors

Full disclosure, I love the Warriors. I love Stephen Curry more than some members of my own family, and I love Draymond Green a little bit more than that. 

The last few years have been tough for the Warriors. After watching the team fall apart and scream at each other during games throughout the regular season in 2019, everyone got injured in the Finals and then Kevin Durant left. Klay Thompson, the nicest guy in the league, hasn’t played for two seasons after tearing his ACL and Achilles in successive years. Through a bunch of trades that I can’t remember, the Warriors ended up with the number 2 pick last year, choosing James Wiseman, a 7 foot athletic freak who kinda doesn’t know how to play basketball. They used the number 7 pick this year to pick Jonathan Kuminga, a 6 foot 7 athletic freak who kinda doesn’t know how to play basketball.  The few guys who are left from the dynasty teams are older and apart from Draymond, have all had major injuries. 

Hot take: not only is the dynasty over, but the Warriors have completely fucked their future by drafting two high upside guys that won’t work out. 

So those are the negatives – they’re pretty negative. I feel physically ill having to put that into writing, but sometimes you have to embrace the darkness so you can really see the light. 

On the other hand, Steph Curry just had a season where he put up identical numbers to his unanimous MVP season, on a far worse team where he had to handle the ball on every possession. There were times last year where Curry would cross half court and be met by 4 defenders. This was a good defensive strategy because, apart from Curry, the Warriors were practically illiterate on offence last year.

Things will be better this year, not just because Klay will be back, but because the Warriors have unearthed Jordan Poole, an offensive freak capable of scoring 30 points on his own. When anyone who can shoot is on the floor at the same time as Curry, they get open shots purely because the opposition can’t leave Curry alone for a second and if they do, Curry scores. To be successful at the Warriors, all you need to do is play average defence, stand in the corner on offence and hit open 3’s when the ball comes to you. New additions Otto Porter, Nemanja Bjelica and Avery Bradley can theoretically do that. 

There’s also the chance that Wiseman and Kuminga can contribute this year. The problem with Wiseman is that he does everything in extremes: he gives you a variety of some of the most amazing plays you’ll ever see mixed in with a healthy dose of some of the dumbest shit you can do on the court. Kuminga is exciting and he’s the kind of guy the warriors have never had before, he’s slippery in the lane and capable of getting to the rim and dunking after two steps. 

Hot take: the Warriors are a genuine chance to take the West and start the next 5 years of their dynasty on the backs of Wiseman and Kuminga

Take these as you will and use them to disrupt conversations you’re missing out on. This is just 5 of the 30 NBA teams, and there’s some great narrative out there that isn’t covered in this article. If you want it, I’ve got more spice ready to help you talk shit about all of them. 

The more experienced NBA dribblers among you may say that some of these aren’t really hot takes, and you’re probably right, it’s not a hot take to say that the Lakers might win. But were you really going to read all of this if I called it “10 opinions to help you talk to your NBA mates”?

 

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