February 26 2022

With the Bledisloe Scaled Down to 2 Matches, Have Rugby Australia Finally Accepted our Beta Status?

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion 2022, all blacks, australia, Bledisloe, Coaches, Cup, Dribble, new zealand, wallabies

With the Bledisloe Scaled Down to 2 Matches, Have Rugby Australia Finally Accepted our Beta Status?

DYOR Dave

This week Rugby Union fans were treated to the news that the Bledisloe Cup would now be only 2 tests, meaning the Wallabies would have to defeat New Zealand both times in order to regain the long-lost cup.

The news was met with an ambivalent response, much like most news about Rugby these days, as, on the one hand, fans can be relieved that it’s one less game to see our nation be pounded into the ground by our little brother neighbours.

However, on the other hand, the news signifies yet another milestone in the slow death of our once-great Rugby nation, it’s an honest admittance that we’re no longer at the level of the All Blacks, and probably never will be again.

It’s a tough realisation for the linen-clad, RM Williams wearing die-hards that still think we can be a top team with a few minor changes to coaches and squads.

But the ultimate truth is that we now belong in the company of beta teams like Wales, Scotland and Samoa, rather than the alphas like New Zealand or South Africa.

It may be a tough pill to swallow, but the sooner we remove the bandaid of Bledisloe hope from the hairy leg of our national pride, the sooner we get to enjoy the smooth skin of playing beta sides and actually winning games.

Life is all about expectation management, if you set low goals you’ll never be disappointed. The climate of Rugby in Australia is so dire that international clashes are rarely expected to produce positive results, and most fans have all but tuned out of the domestic league.

Thus, it would appear that now is the perfect time to transition from the top tier of international rugby to the second tier. Imagine next year, a schedule full of clashes that actually look winnable, it would seem almost too good to be true.

Maybe we'd feel more comfortable playing underdeveloped African nations regularly

Naturally, after over a decade of what can only be described as torturous Rugby, fans will still go into these matches expecting a loss.

It’s a risk I’ll admit, if we were to lose to a beta country it could plummet our rugby culture further into the depths of obscurity, but a win could just as easily reinvigorate the nation and, to paraphrase one of the pre-WWIII world leaders, ‘Make the Wallabies Great Again.’

New Zealand are already eclipsing us on the world stage in the political, environmental, and economic spheres, so maybe it’s time they took on the duty of being leaders of the Pacific, and we can sit back and enjoy being an inconsequential yet tropical Pacific Island nation.

Even if we clean sweep our rivals in the first year of being a minnow, I’m almost certain that fans will write it off as a fluke and still expect heavy losses the following year, such is the depth of the traumatic scars that have been left by nearly 20 years of Rugby disappointment.

It would at the very least provide around 5 years of joyful, winning footy, and allow the game to build back the fanbase it so generously donated to other sports this millennium, before the fickle fans eventually start expecting more and demanding a return to Bledisloes.

But then what about New Zealand? Are they now going to assume the role of the Harlem Globetrotters and travel the world embarrassing whatever team stands in front of them? Is that really any different from what they are doing already? Surely even they want to see competitive Rugby and exciting matches, not just endless blowouts and guaranteed victories.

Well perhaps it’s time to take a leaf out of Rugby League’s book and allow players to represent their heritage, bolstering up the stocks of teams like Samoa, Fiji, Tonga, and even Australia (can we please have a few All Blacks as well thanks.)

Alternatively, maybe New Zealand are now only allowed to play invitational sides like the Barbarians, or a pacific all-stars team, and the world cup merely becomes a round-robin where the All Blacks play every day until finally they’re fatigued enough to lose a match.

Whatever the future holds for Rugby Union, it’s clear that change is necessary to maintain some sort of support for the code in our country, because despite its clear inferiority to god’s winter game of Rugby League, it’s still an inescapable part of our identity, and one that desperately needs a glow-up.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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August 15 2021

Union Dribbler Going Mad in Lockdown Picks his NRL XV to Beat the Wallabies

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Bledisloe, crossover, hybrid game, nrl, Rugby Union

Rugby Union Dribbler Going Mad in Lockdown Picks his NRL XV to Beat the Wallabies

by The Emerald Dribbler

As Australian rugby wallows in the doldrums of yet another Bledisloe series loss, even the most rusted-on Wallabies fan can’t help to think: “Is this really the best we’ve got?”

Never in history has the national team lacked world-class talent and celebrity. For the first time in the professional era, the Wallabies are completely bereft of household names. As your Dad recounts the famous efforts of Horan, Lynagh, Eales, Larkham, Gregan, Pocock and Beale, your Mum squints at the TV and has to ask you: “Who on earth is Len Ikitau and Andrew Kellaway?”

In complete contrast, the NRL has never appeared more dominant in Australia’s rugby football landscape. It’s on your TV 4 nights a week, and State of Origin remains the highest rating sports program every year. For the cross-code fan, the frustration at the state of Australian rugby grows more intense when each weekend we see freakishly talented footballers, dozens of whom could change the fate of rugby union in Australia, if they were to cross codes. To visualise this, I’ve had a crack at naming The Ultimate NRL Rugby Union Cross-Over XV.

A few points to consider:

Some positions in rugby league aren’t as easily translated to the 15-man game. A rugby league body designed for 150m and 30 tackles is not entirely suited to pack down in a scrum. Therefore, most forward positions are picked “in theory”, based on the suitability of height, weight and playing style, with assumption they could adjust their body to suit the rigours of rugby union.
Comparisons made are to help the dribbler get an idea of a size and/or playing style comparison between the codes, they are not an evaluation of talent.
Little precedence is given to someone with a “rugby union background”. This team is based off how good they are at professional rugby league, not schoolboy union.
Lastly, this is an NRL-based side with no eligibility requirements – this side is designed to beat the Wallabies, not play for them.

The Front Row

Starters		Height	Weight	Comparison
Prop	Junior Paulo	188cm	123kg	Sekope Kepu
Hooker	Josh Papali’i	182cm	119kg	Tatafu Polata-Nau
Prop	Jason Taumalolo	191cm	117kg	Taniela Tupou
Bench
Hooker	Junior Tatola	183cm	114kg	Folau Fainga’a
Prop	Payne Haas	196cm	117kg	Ofa Tu’ungafasi
Prop	Addin Fonua-Blake	189cm	118kg	Allan Ala’alatoa

In the front row you are looking for big round boys. These are typically the largest front-rowers; with body types that could transition into a scrummageable package. Paulo, Taumalolo, Haas and Fonua-Blake are 4 of the largest humans in rugby league and have comparable size to modern day union props. There could be an argument for Haas at 196cm to move to the backrow but there is a shortage of prop-ready NRL players so he fits the bill. Importantly, the hookers are both shorter than the props and are already in prime shape for the position at 119kg and 114kg respectively. Both would pack a punch at scrum time.

Locks

Starters		Height	Weight	Comparison
Lock	Nelson Asofa-Solomona	200cm	115kg	RG Snyman
Lock	Tui Kamikamica	195cm	110kg	Lukhan Salakai-Loto
Bench
Lock	David Klemmer	198cm	116kg	Adam Coleman

Key criteria for this position: height. There are few players in the NRL reaching the desired 200cm for a rugby union lock, which creates a threat at the lineout. Nelson is the longest bloke in the NRL and he’s also a scary bastard of similar ilk to current Springbok, RG Snyman. Tui is a bit shorter at 195cm but would provide a bit of grunt – and we are not disadvantaged height-wise with more lineout options in the backrow. Finally, David Klemmer at 198cm makes the squad despite his poor NRL form. At his best he has a big engine that is capable of running into and putting shots on blokes for 80 minutes. Expect to see these three pick their weight up to around 120kg to be more effective at scrum time. Honourable mentions to Shaun Lane (198cm) and Christian Welch (195cm).

Backrow

Starters		Height	Weight	Comparison
Blindside Flanker	Tino Fa’asuamaleaui	197cm	112kg	Jerome Kaino
Openside Flanker	Victor Radley	182cm	92kg	Fraser McReight
Number Eight	Villiame Kikau	195cm	119kg	Radike Samo
Bench
Backrower	David Fifita	186cm	107kg	Ardie Savea

Probably the hardest positions to pick consider the abundance of applicable talent. Nearly every rugby league forward could “in theory” make a transition to the backrow. Tino gets a nod at blindside flanker, he already has a rugby league workrate with a ready-built frame and with the extra height he is a lineout option. Victor the Inflictor is currently undersized for the 7 spot but his style of play screams of a pilfering mongrel openside who will be in the face of the opposition all day. Big Bill Kikau is the running option off the back of the scrum. David Fifita secures the bench spot – his size dictates that he could play all 3 positions and would provide huge impact off the bench. Mentions to Campbell-Gillard, Arrow, Jurbo, Cam Murray (between him or Victor), and Tyson Frizell.

HALVES

Starters		Height	Weight	Comparison
Scrumhalf	Api Koroisau	172cm	88kg	Aaron Smith
Flyhalf	Nathan Cleary	182cm	92kg	Dan Carter
Bench
Scrumhalf	Reed Mahoney	172cm	86kg	Conor Murray
Flyhalf/Inside Centre	Cameron Munster	185cm	89kg	Carlos Spencer

The rugby league hooker position does not perfectly translate to the rugby union scrumhalf. While distributing the ball from the back of the ruck remains a core skill, some extra weight is applied to a kicking game and being able to play-make in unstructured play. Therefore, a league hooker with a halves background may benefit. In this case arguably the two best passing and kicking hookers in Api Koroisau and Reed Mahoney get a run. Cook missed out without a long passing game, while Grant and the Hectic Cheese are bigger bodies styled for ball running.

Nathan Cleary is the clear favourite at flyhalf. He is an incredible talent in all forms of playmaking. He is a threat when taking the ball to the line himself, with his short and long passing game and with the boot. He’d be a welcome reliable kicker off the tee, too. Cam Munster is the mercurial option off the bench who could also plug in to inside centre or fullback. Cody Walker and Jahrome Hughes also get a shout.

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CENTRES

Starters		Height	Weight	Rugby Union Comparison
Inside Centre	Latrell Mitchell	193cm	102kg	Ma’a Nonu
Outside Centre	James Tedesco	184cm	95kg	Adam Ashley-Cooper
Bench
Centre	Kotoni Staggs	185cm	95kg	Malakai Fekitoa

This is a centre pairing to really get the tongues wagging. Inside centre in union is perhaps the most flexible of positions as the style of your backline is often determined by who plays there. For example, a second flyhalf like Matt Giteau funnels attack wider, quicker, whereas a Samu Kerevi 12 is looking to bend the defensive line in midfield before finding gaps on the edges. Latrell for all his shortcomings is a one-of-a-kind talent capable of playing multiple positions in rugby league and capable of a ripping an opposition team apart in multiple ways. Trell can do it all – he can run over you, pass like a five-eighth and kick like a half.

Teddy has been shifted to the centres here to take advantage of his elite running game and searing pace. I can’t imagine a player better suited to scything through gaps created by Trell and Cleary and he is also a smart defender which would assist in a traditionally difficult position to defend.

Due to the make-up of this team, where fullback and wing can be easily covered, Kotoni Staggs is a smokey to run off the bench at 12 or 13. Would love to see his devastating running game in extra space. Mentions to Joey Manu and Justin Olam.

OUTSIDE BACKS

Starters		Height	Weight	Rugby Union Comparison
Wing	Brian To’o	176cm	102kg	Joe Rokocoko
Wing	Kalyn Ponga	184cm	92kg	Nehe Milner-Skudder
Fullback	Tom Trbojevic	194cm	102kg	Israel Folau

The fullback debate was centred around Turbo, Ponga and Teddy. Turbo answered this question most easily: Whose hands do you want the ball in most often? He is a linebreak threat from anywhere on the field, safe under the high ball and without doubt the form player of the NRL. He can play make and he has a solid kicking game. Rugby union prodigy Ponga is a tad unlucky but nabs a spot on the wing where he can still be a threat in the wider areas. The ying to Ponga’s yang is Brian To’o, who together can operate a traditional blindside/openside wing combination, with To’o the line-bending option and Ponga as a passing and kicking option in the back three. Honourables to Maiko Sivo, Josh Addo-Carr and Ryan Papenhuyzen.

Let us know your thoughts in the comments or in the dribbles. Who would you like to see in rugby union?

FULL XV

Starting XV		Height	Weight	Bench		Height	Weight
1	Junior Paulo	188cm	123kg	16	Junior Tatola	183cm	114kg
2	Josh Papali’i	182cm	119kg	17	Payne Haas	196cm	117kg
3	Jason Taumalolo (C)	191cm	117kg	18	Addin Fonua-Blake	189cm	118kg
4	Nelson Asofa-Solomona	200cm	115kg	19	David Klemmer	198cm	116kg
5	Tui Kamikamica	195cm	110kg	20	David Fifita	186cm	107kg
6	Tino Fa’asuamaleaui	197cm	112kg	21	Reed Mahoney	172cm	86kg
7	Victor Radley	182cm	92kg	22	Cameron Munster	185cm	89kg
8	Villiame Kikau	195cm	119kg	23	Kotoni Staggs	185cm	95kg
9	Api Koroisau	172cm	88kg
10	Nathan Cleary (GK)	182cm	92kg
11	Brian To’o	176cm	102kg
12	Latrell Mitchell	193cm	102kg
13	James Tedesco (VC)	184cm	95kg
14	Kalyn Ponga	184cm	92kg
15	Tom Trbojevic	194cm	102kg

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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