Ricky tricks another Pommy into moving to Canberra
Author: Korbin Dallas
Looks like Ricky Stuart has tricked another poor Pommy into coming to Canberra to play Rugby League.
Not since the glory years of the early 90’s has Canberra been home to any legitimate homegrown NRL talent.
The place is the asshole of Australia and everyone knows it, making it particularly hard for current Raiders coach Ricky ‘Sticky’ Stuart to lure any Australian player worth a fuck to the nations capital.
In desperation, Sticky’s had to turn to the English Super League (inferior Rugby League competition) to try and fill up his roster. Shockingly he’s managed to convince (trick/fool/mislead) five genuinely talented Englishmen to fly to the other side of the world and settle in Canberra (nations ass hole).
Ricky’s latest signing might just the best yet with Fox Sports’ James Hooper reporting that the Raiders have come to terms with current England halfback George Williams on a 3 year deal starting next season.
Its safe to say that no-one in their right mind would choose Canberra as a place to live so the only truth we can deduce from this situation is that Ricky is in-fact lying to these alabaster English gentlemen with promises of sandy beaches, blue skies and 10/10 honeys for days and days.
One can only imagine the look on poor Georgie boys face as he flies straight past the beautiful city of Sydney and inland towards Canberra international airport.
Whilst some might argue that Ricky is saving these boys from the freezing hell that is Northern England I would argue that Canberra is an unquestionably worse place to live.
Whilst the North of England might be cold as fuck in winter at least it’s on the doorstep to Europe and let’s be honest Canberra winters aren’t much warmer.
Canberra summer though? Well they’re simply delightful with the average temperature sitting at a balmy 50+ degrees. Not to mention that Canberra is 12 days from the closest ocean, the nearest body of water for a melting pom is Lake Burley Griffin, a lake so polluted it’s been deemed unusable and closed for swimming. Such is the disregard for the lake one can often catch a local or two taking a shit at the waters edge of a morning.
Not to mention the place is crawling with fucking politicians.
Whether or not you agree with Ricky’s recruitment method you can’t deny its seems to be working, at least this season, with the Raiders currently sitting in third place, thanks in no small part to the contributions of their misled poms.
Questacon is sick though. If you’re in the area would definitely recommend.
Beers soon, Korb